Where to begin?


My advice for your brother is to retain an attorney now and garner all the support he can from family and friends. I was in a very similar situation when my daughter was 3 - dad “worked” lots of hours and spent his free time enjoying his extracurricular activities in the arts, and I suspect, in the opposite sex. In any case, I too was not a proactive person, I agreed to private mediation, I tried to work out a settlement with my ex without the hassle of attorneys and court. The result? I got all of our (his and mine) student loans to repay, I lost the house we had lived in because I couldn’t afford the mortgage and had to quit-claim it to him (he sold it and made money) and he now has custody of the child that he was never there for during the first 3 1/2 years of her life. Tell your brother to document everything, and tell him not to trust his ex-wife. Send everything through attorneys from the very beginning. You’ve already taken a big step for him, and I hope you stick by him through it all. Those of us who are passive or not confident need that support, and sometimes that intervention - to keep us going in a positive direction.


Dear helpingbrother:

Greetings. Your brother starts by creating a calendar of the dates and times that she was out and that she left him with the child. I would also recommend a private investigator.

Next, your brother should retain an attorney (this and the calendar can be done together). The attorney should help him decide what his objectives are regarding child custody. They may or may not include equal time between him and his spouse. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I don’t want to elaborate too much at this point, but my brother is facing a divorce. His wife has been going out with her “girlfriends” for months now and coming home later and later. She decided several days ago that she was no longer “in love” and wanted out of the marriage after 5 years. They have a 3 year old son who my Borther has basically taken care of by himself. Mom seems to be more worried about shopping and drinking than caring for the child. I am not initmately involved in their lives, so don’t know all the details, but my Brother is not the kind of person to be proactive. Where does he start? How does he protect his ability to see his child and move beyond this woman? Any help would be greatly appreciated…