Where to stay short-term?


#1

I have a consult arranged with a Rosen attorney Thursday but needed a “peace of mind” question answered.

On the previous Sunday (10/31) I told my wife that I wanted a divorce (she brought it up in a conversation, and I had to be honest and say yes), and because things were so uncomfortable from that point on, the following night I checked into a hotel to get some space.

(I have a lot of writing to do for my job, and I could not work in the house from that point on - the emotional tension was just too much. So I needed to get out, get some space, and clear my head so I could do what I get paid to do). She wants to talk me into not going through with the divorce, but I’m firmly decided on it, and I couldn’t take the back and forth of trying to work in the house.

Over the last week, I’ve spent 4 of the 7 days in a hotel, (the other 3 at home), but I’ve been active with the kids - taking them to extracurricular activities, bringing dinner/movie home one night, having lunch with them at school. I’m trying very hard to make sure the kids know I’m not “disappearing.”

To keep up with work (and my sanity), I’m going to need to stay out of the house the rest of this week, and take a business trip to NY over the weekend. I just had lunch with one of my kids today, and I’m planning on taking my oldest to our martial arts training this week as well.

The thing that’s stressing me is that am I creating a legal situation by working/staying out of the house for several nights, especially the rest of this week? Truly, I want to go ahead and get moved out after my business trip, but for the moment I just need to be away from her to keep my focus on the work that pays the bills.

I’m in knots about it, and it would be great to just have some advice before Thursday. Emotionally, I feel torn up, but I do need this space to finish this major project I’m working on.

Thanks -

NCDad99

(PS - When it comes to the divorce, I am not going to turn it into a fight - I want my wife [stay at home mom] to have primary custody, and I’m willing to fully fund the family by paying all the bills so that the standard of living stays the same. I’m not after anything except ending the marriage.)


#2

You are not doing anything wrong as you have not officially move out. You are entitled to go to a place in order to be able to get your work done.


#3

Erin,

Thanks for your answer - does the fact that I’m staying away for several nights cause a problem?


#4

No, not unless you have expressed a clear intention to actually reside elsewhere.