It appears to me that the general laws are created for married parents that have raised the children together. It appears to me that the laws do not take into consideration that times are changeing and that their are situations that one of the parents all together totally abandon the child until most of the upbringing from an infant (what I call all the hard work) has been done. diapers, feeding, careing ,teaching ,nurturing.
Yet if the other parent that has not been in the childs life chooses to file papers even ten years later to see the child that the law will require it to happen. For no other reason than they beleive that the child should learn about the other parent and the history of the other side of their family.
Ya know, I didn’t know my grandfather all that well, but I did just fine. My father didn’t really know about any of the history of his family and if the father was adopted then the records were sealed anyway, so their would be no way to know all of this information anyway.
Children suffer the greatest when they are in the middle of the conflict. When you and your current husband have total custody and are doing all that you can do to keep the anomosity down, but since the other couple,seem to always want to blame you for everything and have never taken responsibility for their actions and have no intention on doing so after six or seven years… You would think that someone in the court system would realize that it isn’t getting any better… and instead of giving the child something to constantly worry about … that they would realize that this is actually very tramatizing to the child and stop the visitations from occuring.
If the law is truly in the best interset of the child. Then a well rounded child should have all of their needs be the Pro Quo of the best interest standard. “physically and mentally and educationally”…
To state so blindly that in every situation that knowing both parents is in the child’s best interest. Every situation is different and every situation should be dealt with as such. Different with exceptions. To group myself and my daughters biological father in the same group of a couple that had been married conceived a child together… planned it or didn’t… and yet they both raised the child together for several years and both took care of the child and nutured the child. I could agree with the law, if that had been the case.
But in a situation where the woman became pregnant, she told the man about it, then he and his girlfriend at the time did not believe it…“because girlfriend stated in the backgroud.” She’s not pregnant, she just wants you back… all girls say that …" Then for her to hear only part of the conversation… “He states, unprovoked… I dont want you back.” Then I state, I didn’t ask you that … I asked you did you want to be a part of the child’s life or not?" He states she aint mine… and (yes he is very redneck). So then the girlfriend several years later gets up on the stand and states that he said that he would support the child but that he didn’t want to be with you and that is why you would not let him see her…"honestly … the only thing I can say to respond to this lie… is “whatever helps you sleep at night”. Because it is my personal belief that they wouldn’t be able to sleep if they didn’t believe their own lies, and it is not my job to convince them of anything. They are the ones that are not in touch with reality… but yet the court system gives them the benefit of the doubt.
I called this man again after she was born in the hospital…I asked again.“do you want to have anything to do with her or not.” He askes me what color her hair is? I tell him that it is dark… He asks me what color her eyes are and I say it is dark. He says "she aint mine’. So, I explain to him that she was born as a preemie and is not fully developed. her eyes are not colored yet and she was just born so that her hair color would not show, but what hair that she does have is dark. Still he did not believe me.
If I have full physical and legal custody of this child and no matter what I tell him, he will not believe me. Then we are doomed to completely ruin her life. I am the main one responsible for her… but if I tell him anything… he will not believe me… If I tell him, she lost a tooth, he will not believe me… if I tell him that she got hit with a ball in the eye… he would not believe me. He claims that he does not trust me, but I have never lied to the man, and I have faithfully brought her to visitation for a full year now.
What man in their right mind can say I dont trust you, knowing that he has had to trust you for the past year to bring her to visitation?
So, court or not, law or not… But purely being a mother and a full fledged usa born and bred mother that would totally take a bullet for my daughter and give up my life for her.
This situation that the law has placed me and my daughter in… Is most definately NOT in her best interest. So how do you prove this to the judge? How do you prove to the judge that the situation warrents something different because it has different circumstances.
How do you prove to the judge that no matter what happens this child will live the rest of her life with the constant battle between mother, that has been by her side from day one and a dead beat dad that recently decided that he wanted to be in her life, and in doing so… has decided to force his own daughter to spend time with him. She is totally apathetic toward him, and could really care less if he is their or not. But when she has other things to do, he will not let her do what she wants to do, unless he can make her do something else in return.
He barters with her, well you can go to your birthday party this weekend but i want to see you next weekend. This interupts my time with her and he is not entitled to my time… just his time.
Is the court system even aware that these situations exist? and who do I talk to or what do I do to get something changed in the law, so that hopefully my child and possibly other children will not have to suffer needlessly because of deadbeat parents that truley only want to lay a claim and really only have a interest because of a power trip they are on?
Where do I start? Who do I need to contact? How many signatures do I need for a petition to pass a new law? Is their any lawyers that are willing to help in this type of legal adventures? Where would I find them?