I can’t beleive that there is little to no interest in this topic. The children are the ones who have the most to lose in a divorce and there is no interest in the parenting topics. Does no one care?
I think alot of this type of thing gets discussed on the other boards. My personal experience is with older children, but I can tell you that being honest is the best way. You might start with letting them know, that no matter who lives in the house, that both of you love them very much. Then I guess you have to let them in on who will be living with them all the time, and who they will be staying with during weekends, and how often. It wouldnt hurt to get a counselors advice, if you are having a hard time with getting it out. Kids are smart, and they are also resilient. It might be tough at first, but just support them and reassure them, and you should be fine.
Tell them it’s not their fault and that you love them.
I have a seven year old boy, he didn’t take it well when he found out he blamed for for daddy leaving. But I was shocked when I found out my husband wanted to leave. We didn’t set down and explain it to him but if I would have known he was going to leave I would have talked to him. Then he would have took it better maybe he thought i was trying to hide something from him. It took him about a month and he was over it, he thinks he is the man of the house. Let her know what’s going she’ll understand it some, they know more then we think they know. Best of Luck
Even though I was capable of getting much more from my divorce, I tried to appeal to my ex-wife’s greedy side and gave her the house, car, etc. I did this because I didn’t want my children to see any anger between mommy and daddy. There are lots of situations where the parents don’t live together, it can work. I gave up my day job to work at night so I could spend every day of the week and every other weekend with my kids, and the transition from her house to my house is especially seamless. They never see anger, even when she and I are discussing difficult issues–we do it over email.
During my seperation my daughter was 7, she seen her dad ontop of my best friend, he emotionally blackmailed her, not wanting to lose what her dad threaten to take away she held his secret for 4 years before she remembered what she had seen and then she told me, my lawyer tells me I am time barred and I keep insisting she was a minor when it happen and she is still a minor, it could reverse my entire divorce agreement.
It’s a tough age…there is lots on the internet about this and some great books. I think reassuring kids that you both love them is certainly important. If you are hooked in to a church they may have counseling available for all concerned. I think it is most important for kids not to feel torn between the 2 parents.
We have a 7 year old daughter and a 1 1/2 year old daughter. My concern is telling our 7 year old what is happening with mommy and daddy splitting up and how to go about this and what kind of reaction we might could expect. Has anyone had a daughter around this age that they have had the same experience with? If so, what approach did you take and how has it turned out? Thanks!