Alienation of affection

Very long story short. In late January my wife decided she didn’t love me but decided not to tell me this. But since she didn’t love me, she started treating me indifferently. I became frustrated and began to detach from our relationship but we still were connected enough to engage in sexual intercourse twice by March. In February, she began obtaining “free” personal training for 2.5 hours a day from a former bodybuilder and began talking to him on the phone for over 1.5 hours each day in addition to going to Starbucks with him (I did not find any of this out until recently). In April I also found a picture of this guy in her closet hidden and a friend told me she was drunk and dancing with him provocatively at a bar. In May, she tells me that she wants a divorce and the reason is b/c “we have grown a part” and she doesn’t like my hobbies (reading and running). She completely denies an affair but every infidelity “things to look for” list online fits her to a T. We have two kids (1 and 5) and am by her own definition, a super-great dad. She is a stay-at-home mom and I am the primary breadwinner.


  1. Is this enough evidence to pursue an “alienation of affection” case and since I don’t have a lot of money to pursue this, is this something I can file without a lawyers help?

You will need to prove that this individual destroyed the affection of your marriage by showing the court

Your and your wife were happily married and a genuine love and affection existed between you;
The paramour’s actions were a contributing factor that caused the alienation of affections of the marriage;
The paramour was aware that his actions would likely cause the your wife to alienate her affections for your
To be awarded compensatory damages it must be proven that the paramour’s conduct proximately resulted in the loss of services in the home, loss of support, including present and future earnings the offending spouse, loss of consortium (sexual relations),emotional distress and/or injury to the aggrieved spouse’s reputation. Compensatory damages may also include the costs of litigation, including attorney’s fees for both the Alienation or Criminal conversation action.

These cases are complicated, and end with a jury trial. I strongly recommend you retain a lawyer if you pursue such a claim.

Thank you for the reply. Based on the above information, is that enough to show that adultery has occurred thus keeping her from receiving alimony during and after the divorce? Or, do you have to have an admission or picture of them having sexual intercourse? Thanks again!

You do not need an admission, or a photo of them having sex.
You must prove that they had the inclination (romantic interest) and the opportunity to have sexual relations (staying together in a private place alone for some amount of time). The judge will make a determination based on all the evidence presented.

About two weeks ago a sheriff came to my doorstep while outside playing with our 2 yr old to serve my husband with child support papers. He had an affair an now has a 5 month old baby. I was completely blind sided and have had to undergo medical and mental treatment. The shock and medical help is costing me weekly couseling & medical doctor appts. I also missed one week of work. I want to sue her for have of the money I am having to shell out. I think she should have to pay for at least half of my medical exp my insurance is not covering, time missed from work, travel exp to & from doctors. I hear this is a really expensive case to file…but with them having a child together I would think that is easy proof?

The question is… do you have 40k to 60k laying around to sue her? Though you can ask for attorney’s fees there is no promise you’ll get any even if you win the case. AND, what will you get for that money? Does SHE even have money for you to go after in the first place? If you’re going to spend 40k to 60k only to get her to cover a few hundred or thousand in medical bills, then you just put yourself in the red by spending more than the doctor’s bills were worth in the first place. Frankly it might be easier and certainly cheaper to get that money from your husband.

I agree that a spouse fathering a child outside of marriage is a good evidence that an affair has occurred, though not necessarily that his affections have been alienated.