Since November 4th, I have been unable to eat, sleep or get any peace of mind. My husband has maintained a friendship with a woman over a number of years. It has always been platonic up until November of last year. She lives in NYC and he went there for a trade show. Apparently, they hung out, got drunk and who knows what else one night. A few months later, on Valentine’s Day, she sent him an e-card, which said thinking of you, as always. He innocently showed it to me. I told him it was improper. Since then, he went to NYC again with business partner, he probably saw her then, but no time for personal relationship. Fast forward to November, she came back to NC for class reunion, basically hung out at my husband’s restaurant all day, 10 days later, he went on a previously planned trip to NYC. On his last night there, apparently he hung out with someone at his partner’s house with very loud Rock N Roll music playing until after 3:00 AM. This is a man with expensive BOSE headphones and IPod which I watched him pack for trip. He denies any wrongdoing – says “I don’t remember” when asked for specific details 2 weeks later [when I uncovered the complaint email to his partner]. This occurred 15 days before our 20th wedding anniversary! The day after he comes home, this woman sent him an email with a picture attached – in the picture [from the reunion weekend, she is next to another man and her breast is completely hanging out]. He is the only recipient of this email. Disgusted, I decided to speak with an ex-employee of his with whom I am friends. Over dinner, I asked him straight out if he thought that my husband would cheat on me. With barely 30 seconds of hesitation, he said yes and then began to tell me about another employee “hostess” with which ALL of the other employees began to refer to as my husband’s girlfriend. This happened over the summer. He stated that he felt there was something inappropriate about their relationship. He did say that he never saw anything specific, it was just a feeling that he had, but other employees as well. He described one night where only those 3 were left at the restaurant and my husband and this female then went into the back office together. Another night, they left together and went to another restaurant/bar at which several additional employees later saw them there. I love my children so much and can’t imagine how much this will/would destroy their lives. I guess my question is this: since this latest woman has had a long-term friendship with him can I sue her for Alienation of Affection. Obviously I have no proof of sexual intercourse actually occurring, but his behavior since then has been suspicious. Since he came back from NYC, he has been unable to ejaculate inside me. His erections are extremely weak and appear to be more physical and the psychological prevents them from being normal. I do have actual printouts of inappropriate emails from her to him including the one sent only to him with her picture…this arrived the day he came home from NY. I want to obtain his cell phone records to see for sure how much he has been communicating with her. I specifically asked him 2 weeks ago to end his friendship with her and told him that it is detrimental to our marriage. I am angry, hurt, sick, surprised, disgusted and most of all heartbroken. Can you help? Do I have to actually separate/file for divorce from him in order to proceed with the AofA claim? What would I need to prove such a claim and what more would I need to prove adultery on his behalf. He knows of my suspicions and has no immediate plans to return to NYC.