At what point can the child make the decision?

There is no magic age when a child can make the decision to no longer see a parent. I’d document the dates that the child was to be with her Dad and then file for contempt.

I will not allow the child to make that decision over the phone, I would go to the child and let the child tell me face to face and tell her to write it in a letter not typed but written in her own hand writing.

There is no set age, but while the court may listen to what a child has to say, there is never an age where they get to decide. When they turn 18 they are no longer considered minors and they can live where they choose at that time.

If you feel that the child’s mother is engaging in alienating behavior it is important to do everything you can to address this issue. I would exercise visitation as often as you can, take this issue to court if you have to. In addition, I would try to get the child into therapy to help address any alienation issues.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

At what point can a child in NC make the decision that she does not want to go with the other parent for that weekend visit? We know the mother is basically alienating the father but, we are currently working on custody agreement and the mother puts the child up to calling her father to say she does not want to come.