My wife is saying that she needs a break and wants me to move out of the house. Do I lose any protections if everything goes south? What if she wants this simply because she is having an affair? If I can legally obtain proof, does this help in the matter?
Do NOT move out of the house. Should you legally separate and/or divorce it can be very difficult to re-enter the house. Also – it can be difficult to get your things, or keep track of them should she choose to dispose of them. Though during equitable distribution you may be owed your fair share of the home – your favorite set of baseball cards will miraculously disappear with no way to recover them.
You have several options here to consider. I’ll name a few.
- Consult & retain an attorney to establish the best plan for your situation.
- (Do it yourself options) You can stay in the home until you have obtained the info on the affair & Alienation of affection you believe she may be having & then move out, or stay & file Bed & Board to have HER removed for her infidelity & hardship to live with. Sue the paramour if they have anything worth your expenses to do so…
- Come to an agreement on everything… kids. house. alimony/support (how long, how much) House & house payment and/or sale, distribution of your assets, bank accounts, visitation, income taxes, car, investments (several other things pertaining to your situation) and file a separation agreement, notarize etc… (rosen online can help guide you)
- Consult an attorney to find out all your options if your unable to obtain representation. (some offer free or affordable fees for a consultation) Also… consider Rosen Online in case you end up doing it yourself.
- Explore as many options as possible for your situation.
Does a couple of notes make enough evidence for alienation of affection?
Not a lawyer
In my opinion, a couple of notes are not sufficient for alienation of affection or criminal conversation.
I always advise people to attempt to get a separation agreement which details everything including property division, and alimony prior to moving out. If your spouse says this is a break not a separation, your spouse can still argue the separation began when you moved out because the real test for a divorce is the intent of the parties.
If you are concerned that your spouse is cheating, it is best to get evidence before the separation. Post-separation acts can corroborate pre-separation behavior, but evidence of your spouse seeing someone after the separation is not alone enough to be a bar to alimony or to maintain an alienation of affections claim. A few notes without any more evidence would likely not be enough to succeed on such a claim.