I would NEVER try to keep the children from their father or limit their contact with him in anyway. However, b/c my husband won’t move out (even though he’s willing to let me keep the house in ED, we just can’t reach an agreement on other iss ues) i’m considering leaving and taking the children with me. He’s telling me if i do that he can have an order w/in 24 hours from a judge ordering them back to their “home” I have no intentions of moving outside the state or even the county, I just think th e children belong with their mother and it’s best for everyone involved in we seperate. In settlement talks he’s agreed to me having primary physical custody we just can’t agree on the exact visitation schedule.
If i do this will this hurt me further down the lines with issues pertaining to child custody? i know it can hurt my rights to the home.
Actually, leaving the marital home does not affect your rights to the home and/or the equity. And, I can’t personally see any reason why moving out of the home to another home in the same county would have any affect on custody. All it really does is get the separation clock started. If your husband tries to get emergency custody based on the fact that you moved out with the children into another home in the same county, I think a judge would laugh him out of court. An emergency custody order is for when the children are in imminent danger and/or a judge feels that the parent who left with them did so in an effort to flee jurisdiction (think leaving the state just to avoid NC jurisdiction). From your post, it sounds like your children are neither in imminent danger nor are you attempting to avoid jurisdiction.
Sounds to me like your husband is just trying to control the situation, and so far, it’s working. Perhaps what you could do when you move out is go to the courthouse and file for custody and put in the papers the visitation schedule that you would like, and get that ball rolling. The courts will order you to mediation to get it hammered out, but it’s always helpful to have in the papers that you’re not trying to keep them from their father, and have in writing the visitation schedule that proves such. And, by getting a case going for custody, it essentially prevents either parent from leaving the state with the children (for living purposes).
Agree with “needtoleave”. You may wish to send him an email or something recordable like that saying that you have no plans to leave the area and offering an initial custody schedule. Save it as evidence on your end just in case he does try something.
FWIW, if he’s already this manipulative and litigious, try to keep all communication through email, or if you can, record all conversations on the phone. Make sure you have copies of all financials. It sounds like you might be fighting over things since he’s so controlling and you’ll need to keep meticulous records to make sure that you and your children are legally protected.
Sure, you can move out and take the children with you. Make sure you tell him, in writing, where the children will be. If you just move out and don’t tell him anything then he may be able to get an emergency order. Please also understand that he could also pick them up from school, or wherever, and take them home with him too. Unless there is some reason to the contrary, the children deserve equal access to you both, and you should try to work that out with him.