Before my PSS order was given to me, my ex-wife and I agreed to $1100.00 a month in child support and that I pay 67% of unpaid medical expenses. My ex was awarded 900.00 a month in PSS and now has an income greater than mine. Is there a way to have the Child Support order modified to at least 50/50 of unpaid medical? Can Child Support be recalculated due to her new income in PSS? We recently came to a “Global Settlement” at ED mediation. I really felt I had limited bargaining power due to the locked in PSS order. I basically gave up everything including my all of my 401K (wasn’t much, about 34K) She gets 900 a month until June 2010, then reduced to 600 a month for 5 years(16yr marriage). I also signed a quitclaim deed for the house. She gets all equity if any and is responsible for all repairs ect. and the equity line. The Mortgage is in my name only. The eqity line is joint. What if she defaults on the mortgage or Equity line? Can she sell the house below what I owe? Who would be responsible to cover the difference if she can or does? When we came to this agreement, I never felt really good about it and felt as if I had no better options. The mediator informed me that for some reason, the judge was angry with me because I did n ot have a lawyer from the get go. (excuse me for not being wealthy). Then she was upset, because I took a loan out of my 401K (my own money!) to help pay legal fees and get my finances in line. The loan was for 12k and still had enough to give her half. They felt I hid this transaction and I most certainly did not. I also had to purchase a new vehicle due to my old vehicle breaking down and beyond repair. I utilized cash for clunkers and bought a Chevy Aveo. Spent under 10k basicalli on a egg with wheels. This was held against me. i am not entitled to reliable transportation I guess. Between CS and Alimony, my ex is getting 2000 a month and its causing me to have negative cash flow. I cannot sustain this and will not be able to make timely payments. I believe the judge is a man basher and made a biased decision. My last W2 was for 67K with OT. My ex 37K. I am so upset with this system as they have allowed one spouse to suffer and be forced to struggle, while the other now can live in excess of her needs. Its completely unfair.
To give you an example of what I am dealing with. Her lawyer wanted to charge me perdiem any time I went out of town on a weekend I would have had my kids at 7 dollars per kid per day per meal! The first 900 check I made, I reduced due to paying her half of the Equity line and the cable thats in her house. They filed a show cause motion and demand I pay it back! I am giving this woman 2K a month and file a motion for 114 dollars! Are you kidding me? I have always paid my CS and PSS and yet, I am still treated as if i am a dead beat.
One more detail. She had a DVPO filed against me because I text her excessively. I guess about 20 texts in two days because she suddenly stopped letting me see my kids during the week. No threats were communicated other than, I wanted to go back to mediation to get more time. She made up stories of DV in court and really don’t think the judge bought it but she still enforced it on me because of the texts. She didn’t mention one word about any testimony on DV in her decision. The judge talked down to me as if I was some criminal. She still continues to contact me about bills and various other reasons knowing I can’t respond. This has made things difficult because now she has our kids play messenger which I am against.
So…I guess this has been more of a venting session with some information as well. I have a few questions laced in there too. I guess what I want to know is, what can i do to help better my situation financially? I am not sayiing I should pay nothing, but 900 a month in PSS + 1100 in CS. Cmon… I will ALWAYS take care of CS and my bills first. I will NOT slip on my Rent, Car, CC or lights bill to pay her excessive PSS award. I just wont so I am sure I will end up back in court for show cause or something. What an they do. I will have bank statements showing everything. I do not live an extavagant life. Putting me in jail does no good as i will lose my job and not be able to pay anything. I almost feel as if i want to just leave the state and hide. Why does the court ssytem push people like me to that edge. No wonder why so many men hide. What am I suppose to do? work three jobs? I already work 3rd shift and would not be able to do that. WHAT CAN I DO? Thank you for your time and sorry for being so scattered.