Child visits/spouse living with girlfriend/qsts

There is really no contesting a divorce in NC. NC is a no fault state and there are only two reasons to be granted divorce. One is one year and one day of living separate and apart and the other is legal insanity, so there probably was no reason for you to be in the courtroom for the divorce. The Equitable distributions, child support, child custody and alimony are all separate issues with the courts and as long as there is a claim in before the absolute divorce is granted then you can dispute, negotiate or argue about it for as long as it takes to come up with an agreement that you both will sign.
Your attorney works for you, so he really should be requesting what YOU want instead of trying to have you sign papers that you don’t agree with.
As far as your X moving in with his girlfriend, there is nothing that says he can not visit with his children in his home, no matter who is there unless they are in physical danger. If your friend heard of someone who was told this by their attorney then likely the other woman was not actually divorced or there were other issues that were not included in the discussion. You can not dictate who your X lives with or where your X lives. What goes on during their father’s visits are not really your business unless the children are in physical danger or being neglected.

Legally, if your divorce was granted in December 2006 you must file your taxes married and either jointly or separate but still must be filed married. For 2007 you will file probably head of household.
Your other posts suggests a possible move but yet you state you don’t want to sell the marital home. If you are planning to move to another state and do not want to sell the home, you possibly will owe your X 1/2 the equity of the home up to the date of separation. Any property owned up to the date of separation,should be split. Any debt incurred during the marriage still owed must be split up to the date of separation and possibly after if it’s unsecured debt built up jointly after that date.
Also, upon deciding to move, your X may be able to have the child custody modified so that you can not take the children that far away so as to make visitations more difficult.
I hope this helps some. Maybe an attorney will post here…

Dear CherS:

This post is too long for me to read - as I have to answer everyones’ questions. Please post smaller questions. I have read to the first question and here is the answer:

It depends on what the parties agree is reasonable. Some people help the children through the transition and try to keep the conflict down, while others don’t believe it is appropriate at all. Also depends on the judges in your jurisdiction. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband and I have been divorced since December 5, 2006. During the month of January of 2007 he moved into his girlfriend’s trailer. While talking with someone today I mentioned this. The person asked if he could still have visits with the kids if he was living with his girlfriend and not married. She said she knew of another woman who was divorced and told by her atty that her boyfriend could not be there if she wanted the kids to visit.
Is this true?
Also I kind of feel that I got the shaft when the divorce took place. My atty showed up at my house on Dec. 5th, 2006 and shook my hand while saying Congratulations, you’re divorced. I said I didn’t know I had court today. You didn’t tell me we had court. I was going to contest the divorce. My atty said you didn’t need to be there, trust me you didn’t want to be there and that I couldn’t contest it because we had been separated for a year. This was contrary to what I had been told by a member of the legal staff at his office just a week or so before.
Furthermore, I was told by my ex-husband that when the judge asked where I was, my atty told the judge that it was in the best interest of his client that I not be there.
While my atty had my husband at the courthouse, he went ahead and discussed the child custody, visitation, child support and alimony with the judge. The judge wanted something drawn up that very day concerning all those things and wanted my husband paying child support by Jan. 1, 2007.
I spoke to my atty that afternoon [Dec 5th] and asked why I wasn’t told about the court date. He never really came out and told me why, he just beat around the bush about it. I didn’t sign anything that afternoon.
I was summoned to his office later that month on Dec 27th. My atty wanted me to sign all the papers. I didn’t agree with everything and didn’t sign that day. I especially didn’t agree with the part about either party can designate whomever they desire to come and pick up the children. I also was required to resume the house payment. My atty had to leave to go to court so I couldn’t ask him anything.
I saw my atty a couple of days after the beginning of the New Year and told him my concerns and also asked about the child support of $1000.00/month for 3 children and why the amount of alimony was set at $500.00 per month for only 2 years. I had heard that I was entitled to half the number of years that we had been married from a friend who is going through the same thing.
My atty said the amount of time was based on my workability but never explained how they arrived at any of the figures etc to me. I haven’t worked since 1994 and have been a stay at home mom, homeschooling our 2 older children. They currently attend public school because my husband wanted them to and then he left us the month after they started school in 2005.
He also told me that the judge had already approved all of this and if I didn’t sign it and it went back in front of the judge, he would probably cut me a raw deal. I decided to sign the papers at that time figuring this was the best I could do and I didn’t want to go back to court and end up with less than what was on the papers for me to sign. Although I didn’t agree, I thought if the judge has already approved this then I might as well sign it because I wasn’t going to do any better. Now I am wondering if I should have pursued the issue and had things changed. I kind of feel that I could have done better. We were married for 13 years when my husband left and 14 by the time the divorce took place.
We are now due to return to court on March 19, 2007 to disperse the property. I was told I would have to sell the house. I really don’t want to. What can I do about this?
My husband also didn’t pay me for the month of January, 2007. We had court on Jan 16, 2007 and I was told that my husband had to pay me after that. I spoke to the atty about that and to my husband 2 times so far about it. No response from either.
I have since contacted my atty, seen him or left messages at his office 4 times about getting a copy of what I signed. I still don’t have anything. I want to know if the papers stated that I was to do taxes with my ex-husband. My atty told me that the judge was going to order that we do taxes together but I don’t recall if it was on what I signed. If not, I don’t want to. I don’t trust my husband to be honest on the taxes and don’t wish to sign my name to it.

My atty has told me things and then the next time I speak with him has changed the answer to the same questions. Like originally he told me that anything we bought was still considered marital property even after my husband had left. So I kept track of all these things etc that I knew of him buying and what I purchased. I asked him several times about papers/forms to fill out for dispersal of property. In the end, he told me he needed a list of the assets, who had it, what it might sell for at a garage sale, and who was to get it. I asked him to clarify if the property was based on the point of separation. His office staff had already told me it was only up to the date of separation but said to take his word for it. After that is when he told me it was only until the date of separation. There have been so many incidents like this, him saying one thing and then I notice he says another the next time.
Because of my finances and the fact that I didn’t have a job, I have not followed through with finding another atty, but now wonder if I should and is it too late to change anything that I didn’t get fair judgment on??
Thanks for your reply.