Contemplating a separation/divorce


#1

So I am currently in couples therapy with my husband and I really am not very convinced it is gonna do any good. After doing some looking around I have a few questions…

  1. I have been told to open my own bank account and put money into it. But won’t that money still just have to be split between us when we separate/divorce anyway?
  2. We both work in Local government and have state retirement accounts, 401Ks, Roths, and now a 457 or something. If we both agree to just keep our own accounts, do they have to be split up/sold?
  3. Also if I forsee staying a while longer(+6 mo) without filing for a separation/divorce should I continue to contribute to retirement/401K, etc or is it better to stop.
  4. My husband bought out house a few months before we got married to be our marital residence. He was still living at home prior to that. The house is only in his name, he says he didn’t need my name on it because his credit was good enough. Since that was before we were married, is that considered his property?
  5. If I collect financial documents as many advice sites tell you to, what am I looking for, just the proof that there was an account or do i need the most up to date copy. I am not sure how long we are going to attempt therapy and do not want to keep copying papers every month if I don’t need to.

#2

While any money you put away while you are still living together is martial property and will be accounted for in the final distribution it is not a bad idea to ensure you have a reserve of funds your husband cannot access in the event you do separate.
You may agree not to divide any retirement accounts. I see no reason to stop contributing to your retirement.
The home is his separate property, but there is a martial component comprised of all active increases in the home’s value that occurred during the marriage ie principal reduction and/or improvements that increased the value.

I like to have copies of statements for all accounts for the 6 months preceding the separation.