Continued abuse towards my 4 yr old


#1

Seems to ME that if you have evidence of abuse (calls to DSS, pictures and whatnot) you could have your visitation altered to only allow ‘supervised visitation’. That would be with you, him, your son and a fourth party. I know you can’t deny him access to visits, but SURELY they can be monitored when abuse is suspected.

Does this ‘person’ pay child support??
Was your divorce on of bed and board??

I would think if you left because of abuse, that would be divorce from bed and board and it would SEEM to be and automatic on the supervised visitation. I would make sure you are keeping a file of all these incidents and calls and so forth.


#2

It used to be supervised visitation until last year and my attorney “insisted” it be unsupervised, because my ex took anger mgmt and parenting classes. But you see my ex’s parents are abusive too. Someone in that household (I think it is his mother still) pays child support and as far as the other question not sure what you mean? I was forced by DSS for mine and my son’s protection to move away so we would not be hurt. And now it seems like every time I turn around, I am the one getting in trouble for protecting my son. My ex does not want him, this is ONLY a game of revenge.

quote:
[i]Originally posted by ComingClean[/i] [br]Seems to ME that if you have evidence of abuse (calls to DSS, pictures and whatnot) you could have your visitation altered to only allow 'supervised visitation'. That would be with you, him, your son and a fourth party. I know you can't deny him access to visits, but SURELY they can be monitored when abuse is suspected.

Does this ‘person’ pay child support??
Was your divorce on of bed and board??

I would think if you left because of abuse, that would be divorce from bed and board and it would SEEM to be and automatic on the supervised visitation. I would make sure you are keeping a file of all these incidents and calls and so forth.



#3

Dear blondie1976:

Greetings. Yes, you can file a domestic violence case against your husband on behalf of the child (being his guardian ad litem) and file a motion to modify custody and request a child custody evaluation.

No matter what you do, it is likely to be expensive in attorney fees.

I am not sure why child protective services is telling you that they cannot help. It may be that they do not believe you or they think you are trying to manipulate the custody situation - which it seems is what they believe.

My suggestion is to get him and yourself into treatment and follow through on all the options I have included above. You need to take legal action directly and stop trying to get others, like the police or child protective services, to help you. It seems like you are not getting the assistance you need from them. Thank you and good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

My ex and I have been divorced now a total of a year. I left him because he continued to strangle me and abuse our infant son (who is now 4 yrs old). We have had at least 15 different DSS cases, I have contacted the police, talked to several agencies about the on going abuse. The last abuse case that I turned him in for was back in July. My son was with his dad for 10 days (a summer week) and when I checked him over for bruises, he had multiple bruises all over his body. DSS and police were contacted, my ex denied it, even though I took pictures and documents that there were no bruises on him before he left. He told DSS and police that he has no idea where they came from, even though on previous occasions, he has admitted to hurting our son. (I have a psychiatrist report that states both of us are in serious danger when my ex is near.) DSS and the police have both said that until my son has broken bones or is dismangled, there is nothing that they can do. Why do I have to wait until that point? My son did tell DSS that daddy hurt him and DSS said not sure if it “would fly”. It is a 4 yr old against a 30 yr old man, who is more likely to lie? My son has just got to the point where he can start to communicate, esp after 2 yrs of ongoing speech, occupational and other therapies due to the DV that went on. From what DSS/police/attorneys, etc have said was that the only thing that can stop the abuse is my son talking to a counselor. That will hold up in court. I am currently trying to make a living for my son and I (He lives with me 98% of the time), we do share joint custody, only because I was forced by my attny to sign. He said either you do or the consequences will be worse, I guarantee it.
Is there anything else I can do to get the abuse to stop? It seems as though the “good” person (me) has gotten the “raw” end of the deal. My attorney also told me that I CAN NEVER cancel visitation, no matter how serious the injuries are, if he is in the hospital, etc, my son has to go, or I will go to jail.
I have already been in contact with DV hotlines, abuse hotlines, police, dss, attorneys, governmental officials. What else can I do? Who can stop this abuse? All these places that I referred to earlier is that an ex wife is getting back at an ex husband, meanwhile a little boy who can’t hardly talk still, hardly eats, has nightmares and possibly some have even said he might be mentally retarded, is the TRUE one getting hurt here.

Thanks for any advice given.
Blondie1976