We’ve been separated for 1 year, divorced for 2 but do not have a custody/consent order in place. For this 3 year period, I’ve been the custodial parent for our 2 children where he has our son (4) every other weekend and our daughter (11) has not stayed with him in over a year although he has spurts of taking her to dinner, ice cream, etc. We have lived 30-45 minutes apart for the last month now.
If I were to file for custody, could I file to keep the status quo? Are judges more likely to honor the current schedule provided that the kids are succeeding with it? My concern is that if I open it up, then my daughter will be forced to go.
The reason I want to file is because he suddenly refuses to communicate with me now regarding logistics for our children, as he is mad that he can no longer file for ED and get half my 401k (per my earlier post and your advice). It is becoming difficult to operate without knowing when/if my son is going to be picked up, when/if he will be brought back home, etc. They’ve always been on a predictable and scheduled routine and this control/manipulation tactic is not good for anyone, especially them. My goal is to simply get the current schedule in writing so that everyone knows what to expect. If I file, he is going to say he wants 50/50 of our son (which he could’ve had all along and never executed on) and our daughter as well.
I know it is impossible to predict what a judge would decide if we ended up in court, but I’m hoping to get your thoughts on how risky it would be for me to file. If there is a strong chance that a judge would enforce a 50/50 arrangement, especially where my daugther is concerned, then I guess will just have to deal with the lack of communication.