My husband has been divorced from his ex wife for 4 years and in their divorce decree they implemented their separation agreement about child support and custody, which is split custody. they have equal time with the kids. His ex wife lives with her boyfriend and has since that time. We never made a big deal about it but now we are concerned about illegal drug use going on, which we know to be certain but cannot prove. My question is if we at any time went to court to pursue full custody, can the fact that she co-habitates with someone be used to our advantage even though we have excused it for 4 years? i know that NC is one of the State’s that still has this law on the books and having previously lived in Virginia, it was a huge factor in child custody cases, just didn’t know if it didn’t matter since we excused it in the beginning.

in retrospect, when trying to modify child support, if they came up with an amount themselves, do they still need to go to court to modify the court order, or can it be done through an attorney? if so, if the amount they decide on to be fair is different than the child support calculator, will the courts except their wishes or just go by the calculator?

There is no law against cohabitating in NC, (though it is a terminating factor for alimony) The cohabitation will not be a determinative factor, especially since it has been going on for the last 4 years, and has become what is normal for the child.

If a new amount of support is agreed upon (it can be different from the guidelines),an attorney can draft up a Consent Order and have it entered by a judge.