Defend Alienation of Affection


#1

MY STBX has filed AA against my girlfriend asking for an amount in excess of $10,000. There is no separation document as of yet. There was no love or affection in our marriage. Sexual relations were very seldom with my STBX. I told her several months prior to separation, I was done with our marriage. I was the aggressor in the relationship with my now girlfriend.

I have talked with my attorney about this. She says it is not provable. My divorce and custody is costing us so much money that we do not have the money to pay another attorney. I think that we can defend ourselves up to the point of getting discovery done. This would allow for my ED to be settled which is well over $50,000 in real money and $40,000 in property.

I know that we can file a continuance for 30 days. I think after that, we can file discovery which will push out another 30 - 60 days. I have examples of all of those documents from my case to use.

Is there anything else we need to file or be concerned about concerning AA?

Thank you in advance for your help.


#2

You do not file a continuance, but rather a motion to extend time to answer which allows another 30 days for your girlfriend to file an answer denying all allegations in the complaint. I suggest you file for an extension of time and seek legal counsel as soon as possible.


#3

Unfortunately, it doesn’t really matter whether or not you were having sexual relations with your STBX where AA & CC are concerned. In fact, you don’t have to have had sexual relations with your current GF prior to the separation for there to have been AA on her part. There have been cases of in-laws sued for AA for encouraging a spouse to leave the marriage.

It doesn’t matter who was the aggressor except where degree of the offense is concerned. (Yes, the law says she has to be the primary reason, but there have been cases won where the GF wasn’t the aggressor, but simply didn’t turn away the husband when he came to her…and primary reason is relative depending upon your point of view.) Punitive damages get awarded if she was the aggressor, but if she wasn’t, then compensation is still in play.

These cases are complex and I do recommend getting an attorney to handle your case. But, if you absolutely can’t do it, then I would read up on case law…everything within the last 5 years that you can lay hands on which tell you how things are handled in the courts. (If you do a Google search on “Alienation of Affection” and NC and case law, you should be able to find plenty of cases to read through.) Preparation, preparation, preparation.

There are several people in this forum who have been through the process who may be able to help better than I. If you can navigate the various motions, continuances, and other delaying tactics, you may be able to delay any court presence for a year, which would give you time to learn more of the ins and outs of how to proceed pro se on such a case…or get the money to get a competent attorney. If nothing else, it could get her to drop the case because of her own inability to pay the attorney she needs.

Commonly, these accusations are used to gain leverage or blackmail a party into giving up more than they normally would in ED and alimony. That may be your STBXs intent, especially if your GF has little money.