Divorce and property (lots of questions)

Dear lovebug:

Greetings. First, your wife cannot “refuse to give you a divorce.” Go see an attorney immediately and get a separation agreement drafted. Bring it home and begin negotiating with her, with a set date for you moving out planned.

Yes, your wife may be awarded the house, even if you want to sell. But, the court will likely even up the equity by granting you more of the liquid assets like retirement accounts and investment accounts. Of course, the judge may also agree for you both to sell the home, or have her obtain a refinance and give you your half of the home. The bottom line is that she will not just “win” the equity in the house free and clear, but it will be balancing act.

Yes, a judge can make any division of your property that is equitable.

Yes, she can use the text messages in your phone.

Yes, she can sue your lady friend for alienation of affection. It is up to your lady friend to make the claim that the affection in the marriage ended before you were involved.

You really need to speak with an attorney. You will likely be paying alimony and need to work this all out before she leaves. It is not as bleak as it now seems and you probably will end up with more than you think right now when this settlement goes through. Also, you are not using your leverage, but instead you are living under the umbrella of her threats. See an attorney and begin to break free! Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I am married and I have been out of love with my wife now for 3 years. She knows how I feel. We no longer sleep in the same bed. We have a house and two children. I pay all the bills in the home. We never do anything together. I spend all of my time in my shop that I built. We are like room mates more than husband and wife. I wash my own clothes and make my own dinner. We no longer have sex together. When we did I had to ask for it, she never would. I have ask several times for a divorce but she doesn’t want to give me one. She has always felt that there was nothing wrong with our marriage. I have been so unhappy. I have been seeing someone else for the last 8 months off and on. I really care for this women and would like to be with her. My wife knows that I am seeing someone and she has been extremly upset. She has threaten to kill the lady that I have been seeing. She said that she would sue her for allienation of affection.She said that she is entitled to the house and truck. She has mentioned a number of times that she has text messages that my lady friend has sent to me. My wife would take my phone at night and send all of my text messages to her computer at work and save them in a file. I just want my marriage over and I want to sell my house but my wife doesn’t want to sell it. She keeps saying that she is going to take me for everything that I have. Every time that I have tried to leave she has used my kids against me to stay. I don’t want her to have the house because I put all of my money and hard work into the house and the shop. She just keep saying that I will never bring my lady friend to live in the house, that is the only reason she want the house. What she fails to realize and hear is I don’t want the house I just want to sell it. I want to sell it and we both get money out of it and move on with our lives. I have been out of love with my wife for some time now and I just want her out of my life.

Can my wife be awarded the house even if I want to sell the house?
Can a judge ask us to sell the house and split the things in the house?
I only want the house sold and a few things out of the house she can have everything else.
Can she use text messages from my phone that she sent to her computer at work? Is that legal?
Can she sue my lady friend for allienation of affection due to the fact she already knew that I was no longer in love with her?
If I leave my house does that mean she can be awarded the house because I left?
What can I do?
My wife isn’t agreeing to anything, she is trying to make this process a living hell for me.