ED During Separation?

Hello. These may be silly questions but here goes. (1) When does property actually get divided? Is it done during separation or not until the actual divorce is final a year later? I am referring mostly to investment accounts, IRAs, 401ks, that sort of property. We have already sold the house and split the proceeds. I see that my STBX took $10k out of his 401k to put down on a house he is building (while I have moved to a small run-down rental to keep my kids in their current schools). I am concerned that he will “spend” the money so I won’t get my share. (2) We have not yet signed a SA but are mostly in agreement about assets. Do we have to have a SA with all that legal jargon in it or can I write up one on my own with the basics and we get it notarized? (3) I was a stay-at-home Mom for 13 years of our 16-yr marriage with just a parttime job for about the last 3 years. I am now unemployed and unable to find work (going on 8 months). He says he won’t pay me what the CS calculator indicates because he thinks I should have been working all these years! I don’t want to fight about it but I need more than what he is currently paying. Do I have to take him to court to get the right amount?

Thanks very much for your input.

To stop him from wasting marital assets you’d have to go to court for an injunction, and if he won’t pay the child support due under the guidelines then you’ll have to go to court to force the issue. You are likely entitled to half any assets accrued during the marriage, and alimony. You are definitely entitled to child support.

I’m not sure you answered my questions fully, so let me see if I get it…the assets won’t get truly divided until the actual divorce? What if I have the financial statements from DOS showing what we had at that time? Would that mean he could owe me half of the money that was there at that time? If I have to get an injunction how long would that take?

Could you answer the question about the Separation Agreement? (Question#2)

Today he told me he wants to discuss HIM taking the kids to live with him when his house is built because if I can’t get a job, then I am not “holding up my end of the bargain” and “It’s not possible for you and I to live separately without you having a job.” It is his way of saying he won’t pay me the child support I am due. My kids definitely do NOT want to live with him because they know he can’t stand to be around them for very long! If I can’t reason with him and have to force the issue, does that mean another court order? I am concerned about the cost of that; any idea what that would cost me? :slight_smile:

Thanks again.

Your assets won’t be divided until you reach an agreement with him, or there is a court order. If there was $100k in an account on the DOS and now there is $50k then he will have to explain where the money went. Typically, when circumstances warrant, you can get restraining order to prevent your spouse from wasting, or spending funds.

If he refuses to pay child support you’ll have to take him to court to get it.

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