Give up Child Support in lieu of Alimony?

I have a weird question. We are trying to work out a sep agreement ourselves. We have been separated 9 months. Three children ages 20, 16, and 15. He has been paying informal Child support for 2 youngest of $1300/mo. He has also been paying informal alimony to me since separation of $1200/mo, for a total of $2500/mo. My question is this: My goal is to secure as close to $2500/mo for as long as possible, since that is what I need to pay the household bills, which I can prove. Marriage was 26 years and I have a long list of marital fault on his part. Since child support will be ending relatively soon (3 years), would it be better to waive that and just try to get alimony in the amount of $2500/mo for as long as possible? I understand tax differences between the two… but I am just talking about the strategic decision to forgo child support since it will be gone in 3 years anyway and figuring it in now lessens the amount I can get in alimony. So either I have to request to increase amount of alimony after the 3 years is up, or go for more at the onset and forget about chlid support. I hope i am making sense… help?

Could be mistaken but thought in NC you’re not permitted to waive rights to child support; only alimony.

You cannot “waive” child support as it is really the right of the child to receive support from both parents, and not the right of a specific parent. There are a couple of other options though. You could request that the alimony amount go up after 3 years as your child support will decrease but your needs will not. You could also consider having the alimony award be modifiable so you can return to court if you are unable to get a job and your needs change. Modifying alimony would require proving a substantial change in circumstances, but that may be your only option if you cannot get him to agree to a higher amount up front.

Ok, thanks very much for the reply.


26 years of marriage!

Have you talked with legal counsel? You have a substantial amount of time to collect alimony after a divorce!(possibly 12-15 years or permanent, not to mention retirement!!) And Court ordered Post Separation Support while waiting for a mutual agreement or a court order-
Know your rights!!

My first suggestion is for you to have a consultation with an attorney, second FILE! PSS, Child support, Equitable Distribution, alimony it will cost you $150 - $175 … Since he has paid $2500 voluntarily the court will see this as a favorable amount for you to continue to receive.

Talk with an attorney -
I guarantee he has…

Hi, thanks for your reply! Yes I have an attorney, he is helping me create Separation Agreement w/soon-to-be-ex but when I ask “HOW LONG can I get alimony for” all I get is wishy-washy “it all depends on the judge” response… so I have NO IDEA what is possible. I have read that half the length of the marriage (so 13 years) would be average… but THEN I have ALOT of those 16 factors which can affect alimony… so my question becomes… 'well HOW MUCH does that add on to the 13?! 2 years? 10 years?" . No one can answer. So frustrating. And those alimony calculators are so vastly different it doesn’t help at all. I am just going to push for as much as he will give me without going to mediation/arbitration/litigation. And pray. Alot.

… Amen …

I pray for you that a separation agreement will be sufficient and no litigation. Its costly and an emotional roller coaster that you just want to get off the nauseating ride.
Also for the children’s sakes, we are always still examples, and to show respective agreements shows maturity and fairness despite the break-up.