If the judge is not accepting the notice/service by publication, then you need to continue to attempt to get her served.
There are 2 good options that come to mind given the fact that she has dodged service so far:
(1) Serve her at a different address by sheriff’s deputy and notify the sheriff’s office about her tendency to dodge service. She can be served at work or another location. Be sure to provide the sheriff’s office the hours that she is at a location.
(2) Serve her by UPS or FedEx package. Oftentimes people won’t refuse a package (maybe even put the paperwork in a box instead of an envelope). Make sure you request a signature upon delivery and this will count as proper service. Just don’t put your name and address as the sender or it will be obvious to her what the package is and she may refuse acceptance again.
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