It happened


#1

If your stepdaughter’s mother has passed away and there is no other custody action pending, then custody legally belongs to your Husband. He can simply pick up the children and keep them with him.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#2

No, no action is pending—unless the stepfather has managed to file something to try to keep the girls in the last day or two. What happens if he goes to pick them up and the stepfather resists–or the girls even resist? Do we have to get a lawyer then to take action? or does he just call the Sheriff’s Dept to get help or what? He’s not wanting to make a big scene when he does this. Should we write a letter letting them know that he is allowing them X amount of time to prepare and on such and such date, they need to be ready to go? Then if he refuses to let them go, does he call the Sheriff’s dept for assistance?

venus


#3

Is it possible to simply wait until the next scheduled custodial period with the children and take them them? If they refuse to allow the children to go with you and you have a court order, law enforcement should assist you. I would be flexible about allowing the children to attend all funeral related events.

Is calling and talking to the stepfather about the custodial situation out of the question? If you can have a civil conversation with him, you might be able to work out something that is good for everyone.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#4

At this point, the stepfather will not speak to us. Next weekend is supposed to be their next visitation with us. However, we were just informed by the girls, who stopped by to pick up something that they will not be here. It seems the grandparents and stepfather have planned a trip to the beach for them, INCLUDING the weekend they are supposed to be here. The court order states that my husband has the children every other weekend unless they have an extracurricular activity that would be interrupted by it. When he agreed to this, he was assuming school activities, etc, but they have taken it to include vacations and other events. The girls are attending all events associated with the memorial and funeral of their mother–we are not stopping that-that would be so cruel. Her funeral is Tuesday. We did intend to at least give them the rest of the week over there, but they appear to not be planning to come here at all.

venus


#5

If you do not mind them attending this beach trip then it may be a good idea to let them go and spend time with their grandparents since their mother’s passing. I suggest that your husband send a letter to the stepfather letting him know that the children should be returned to your husband’s care the day the beach trip is over. He may suggest that if the stepfather wants a visitation schedule it can be discussed in the future but that for the time being the children need to be with their father who has legal custody. The children do not have a part in this decision. They do not get a choice.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but the court order was a custody decision between your husband and his ex wife. It probably states that the children are in her care other than the specified time with their father. She is deceased and therefore the court order can not be followed. Legally, your husband should have primary legal and physical custody at this point and should be the sole decision maker for them.
BTW I am sorry to hear that your family is going through this. Hope that things calm down soon.


#6

Venus,
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers also. However this is handled, be prepared for anger from the girls. It’s like anger at the parent that initiated the divorce, children get angry at the surviving parent for doing nothing other than being alive. And at you because you’re the “new parent” It’s almost like trading their momma for you. It makes them feel guilty and resentful, without even knowing why. It will be a tough year or so, but be fair and don’t take anything they say personally.
Good Luck
Tina


#7

If he refuses to return the children to you, you will eventually need to address this with the courts. It might be a good idea to consult with an attorney to find out when the right time is to address this issue in court.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#8

One more question. The children and the SF now know that my husband is taking custody of the children. He is allowing a short period of time (a couple weeks) before the move to our house as they had a vacation planned. After that, they are aware that the move will be made. Up until his ex-wife’s death my husband paid child support directly to her. It was not court ordered. It was in the separation agreement, but never incorporated into the divorce decree (that way he could not petition the court to have it lowered…) Anyway as the separation agreement is a private contract and as one of the parties is deceased, we have been told the contract is also in essence “dead”. We did want to make sure however…During the next couple weeks as we get the girls moved over, is my husband still required to pay some sort of child support to the SF?

venus


#9

I would not think that would be the case since step parents are not involved in child support and it was not court ordered. Look over the papers again and hopefully one of the attorneys will respond also.

One thing I am curious about though…if he is still required to pay her estate alimony even after her death…could he request that her estate pay HIM child support since he now has custody???


#10

The Separation Agreement should terminate child support upon her death.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#11

Well, my SD’s mom has passed away. We want to give them time to grieve and start adjustment, but ultimately, since they are his daughter’s my husband wants them here. How do we go about that? We have no clue if there are legal steps that need to be taken and really how long we should wait before we take them. I think we are as confused as the girls are.

venus