Joint Custody


#1

While I don’t think the DUI would count against you I’m not sure that I understand why you feel it would be in the child’s “best interest” to be exclusively with one parent. The court/judge (if you even make it that far) will look at “best interest” for the child. What would be your reasoning to change status quo? Are you moving? Is the child doing poorly in school? Has your ex decided he doesn’t want to spend the time with the child? If anything, it would seem to me that an older child needs and deserves equal time with both parents.
Children are very adaptable. Your child has known a routine of splitting time between parents.
It would make more sense to me if your child was 14 or 15 and had many extracurricular activities close to one home and not the other or if the teen expressed a desire to live exclusively with one parent.


#2

I’d have to agree. I would view that the situation you have now is in your child’s best interest.

My stepsons have a place at both our house and their mother’s. We have told them that IF they decide to stay with one parent the majority of the time that they wait until they are at least 13 to make that decision. We have also told them that if they make that decision it is final…no switching back and forth on custody.

We also share joint custody with equal time though my husband does pay child support since his ex hid her income during the separation. My husband feels that it’s easier to pay her than to stir up trouble.
The boys understand that they have a home in both places. They are not subjected to the same rules at both homes but that goes with the territory. They are 9 & 12 with birthday’s coming up…
I understand the desire to have them there or not there, but you must realize that this is the child’s other parent and if their situation has not changed then at 8 years old the child is too young to understand. Would you want to have to make that choice between your parents?

The DUI may not have any bearing on the custody unless the father chose to try to use it. It would be a matter of public record. I’m not sure how long something like that would affect your life…but I’m sure that if it were brought up then you would need to show that you have had treatment, and whatever else to comply with the law.


#3

My ex and I were never married but we had a child. We split up when the child was 2. The child is now 8. We did not go to court over custody, we went to a lawyer and had them draw up a joint custody agreement. Since then, the child has spent every other week with us and we each pay for 50% of all the child’s expenses - except the child is on the father’s insurance program. We have both been great parents but I feel now that it is time for the child to have more permanent placement with one parent.

I have an incredbile career and make a wonderful living and therefore have never received any financial support. The father also has a wonderful career. The only ding that I feel that I have against me is that I have a DUI on my record from 2 years ago. If I chose to pursue more custody than the joint that we currently have, would this hinder my chances?

I can not stress what a great job of parenting I have done and the sacrifices made to make sure that the child has spent equal time with both parents so it is understood that we both want to be in the child’s life - I just feel now though that it is time for the child to have a more permanent situation rather than one that changes weekly. The child has always had a wonderful, safe home.

What are your thoughts? Should I pursue or are my chances narrowed due to the DUI?