Joint Custody


Erin, First let me thank you for all the time and effort you put into this. It is truely appreciated. My question is in terms of custody. My wife and I will be “officially” separated this Saturday, when she moves into her new place. We agreed not to do the lawyer route, have been pretty agreeable in terms of division of household goods and so on. When we initially decided to go this route we agreed to Joint Custody. No parameters were established or discussed (one of our issue’s lack of communication). Two weeks ago, she threw her idea of joint custody to me as every other weekend. I flipped out. I basically told her there is no way she is going to tell me I can see my children 4 times every 30 days. I told her I would go into debt up to my eye balls if it meant we now needed to get lawyers, etc. I told her I would be content with one week and every other weekend. Because her job dictates summers off, she of course will have the kids more, which I understand. So with all that said, what is joint custody, as defined by law? I would assume joint custody by definition of two people not going the lawyer route (yet) is what they agree to?

Thank you.


Joint legal custody means that both parents have an equal voice when it comes to making major decisions affecting the children’s best interests. Parents can, and often do have joint legal custody even when one parent has primary physical custody.