Leaving Marital Assets open and still getting divorced


My soon to be x and myself have agreed on the most important thing… child custody
However he will not let go of 1/2 the equity in the famiy home (that he now lives in) and will not agree that I am entitled to 1/2 of his reitrement fund.
We have been separated for over a year. I would like to file for a divorce but leave the marital assets/equitable distribution open…since we are not in agreement… should i do this? or does the ‘judge really decide’ ??
I just do not have the funds to hire an attorney to go to court over what is legally rightfully mine.
The mortgage is the only debt we have, he says we owe more than its worth…well sell it and we will see, is what i said… b/c I dont think that we are ‘upside down’… so we are not in agreement on that for sure as far as equity in the home
He says because for 2 years we were behind on the house payment (while still married and living together) that since I left all of those late charges and interest i should be responsible for half of… although hes living in the house and hes making the house payment…basically hes saying
house payoff $200,000 of which $10,000 is late fees and interest from payment being behind
$5,000 of that is my debt responsibility (according to him)
his retirement is $10k so 1/2 of that is equal to the debt he says im responsible for
whats your take on that?
but most importantly what motions along with divorce should i file to make sure i do not waive my rights to retirement and property

ALSO: the longer he waits , the worse for him??? the house has not been appraised, we have been separated over a year already… the value and markets are increasing daily (finally) and his retirement as well although im sure he could get a balance as of X date on that


If you file for divorce and do not have a fully executed separation agreement you must include a claim for equitable distribution in your complaint for divorce, otherwise you will lose your rights to be distributed any of his retirement account and will have a more complex case with respect to the house.

Once you file the claim there is still time to settle the case, however eventually the court will set hearings to determine the distribution in order to move the case towards disposition.

As for your proposed distribution it depends on how much the house is worth, however marital assets and debts are both subject to distribution.


i agree all debt and assets should be split but if he stays in the house do i have to pay him ???
if he sells it, sure… if its not sold for enough then we should have to split the difference


If your husband stays in the house you he will likely owe you money if there is equity to be spit, and yes, if you sell the equity will be split.