Leaving the state

You can walk out whenever you want, but be aware that until there is a seperation agreement that addresses child custody, he has just as much right to take the child as you do. Draft a seperation agreement, spelling out what you want. He will either sign or not, but it does show you made the effort. If you are in fear for your or your child(ren)'s safety, leave asap. Under NC law you are entitled to 50% of debts and assets. If you are a dependant spouse, you can try for alimony as long as you have not commited adultry. If I were you, with the possibility of moving back to NY, I would get my ducks in a row, draft a seperation agreement, and be prepared to leave. BUT I would have a family member there with you when you present the agreement. He will either sign or not. A seperation agreemnt does not have to cover everything in the divorce, but basically an agreement for until you go through with the divorce. One note though… even if you address financial in the seperation agreement, contact creditors to have your name removed from his accounts. Things like mortgages and bank notes may have to be refinances in order to remove someone from responsibility. If your name is on a bill and it doesn’t get paid, no matter what a seperation (and for that matter, a divorce decree) says, you are responsible; if it doesn’t get paid it will go on YOUR credit. Talk to your child(ren), do not spring on them… “we’re moving to…” But do not have the child(ren) there when you announce to the husband you are leaving. When you leave you will loose the right to re-enter the home at will. If he disagrees and refuses to sign the agreement, he can file for custody of the child(ren), just as easily as you can.

This question if far too complicated to be answered on the forum. I advise you to consult with an attorney to examine the specific facts of your case.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

i have been married for 16 1/2 years…about 6 years ago i became disabled. at that time he started to be become verbaly abusive now he has started to become physicaly abusive…he only pushed me once but once leads to many more…we have an 11 year old child…we have no family here in nc and my family in ny are begging me to come home…can i pack up and leave and what rights do i have and what rights will i lose by leaving