Medical Invoices and Re-Calculation

My husband has 2 children from his 1st marriage in Alamance County. We are in Rowan.

According to our NC Amended Order from July 2008, “That after P pays the first $250 each year of uninsured medical expenses, the parties shall each pay 1/2 of all uninsured medical/dental expenses. P shall furnish copy of all bills to D on a monthly basis. D shall pay his portion withing 15 days of receipt.”

Since the divorce in March 2006, we have never received any invoices for medical/dental. When we were sued to have the jurisdiction moved to NC from NJ in 2007 b/c the kids moved here, our attorney even stated in the Answer to Counterclaim “The plaintiff has not provided documentation of any uninsured health costs or requested reimbursement for health insurance that she alleges that the defendant owes. The defendant is not aware of any monies that he owes to the plaintiff for these expenses.” That was August 2007.

Son A is going to therapy weekly at a supposed $45 co-pay each week since the beginning of June 2011.
Another weird thing: The therapist is in the X’s network, but no claims have been submitted to the insurance company for the therapy or any other treatment for anything since May 2011. We checked on the carrier’s website. Nothing has been updated as of today. What’s that all about?

We text her June 1st, 2011 at 16:01 requesting invoices. On June 27th, we sent a letter CM/RRR and Regular Mail (which she received) requesting invoices for Son A and B for June 2011, and stating since she’d never done so, we suggested scan/email and USPS options to send the invoices as painlessly as possible. We asked she please respond in 15 days.

On 07/15, it will be 15 business days since we asked for them. She has not responded and I don’t anticipate she will.

Here’s why I’m nervous. Technically, we are up for re-calculation this month/year (Everything finalized in NC July 2008). She has to prove 15% increase in the boys’ needs.
She claims though she has not gotten a raise in 4 years.
She also lived with her parents for the 4 years she got alimony/child support at NJ rates and then NC CS from 2006 to late-2010. She sold 2 ovum for $16,000 in 2007 and 1 for approximately $8,000 in 2008.

She told my husband’s mother she is going to buy her house, which has a list value of : $142,000. She’s been renting since Oct. 2010.
Keep in mind, Son A is 12, Son B is 7. Both have laptops (just for games) and desktop computers, multiple gaming systems, play after-school sports, the clarinet, and go with their mother on vacation at least 1x a year for at least 2 weeks out-of-state.

Can she also sue us for the unpaid invoices to justify the 15% if we never got them and asked repeatedly and in writing? Can she also come back and say, 'They never paid for such-and-such invoice for Son A’s treatment in February or Son’s B’s treatment in April…"

Also, after 15 days, what if she doesn’t respond? Can we write another letter stating since she did not provide invoices, we are not liable for any expenses for June 2011? Is that legal? How much recourse do we have if she is not cooperating?

AND, can she include buying the house as part of the 15%, or the sports, or the clarinet ?
Any help is appreciated - The last time we went to court in 2007-2008, it cost us a year, $30,000+ for cruddy defense and almost ruined my marriage. I’d like to avoid any surprises.

I cannot offer an answer as to why your husband’s ex is not filing claims or requesting reimbursement.

To modify support she will need to show there is 15% change in the amount of calculated support using the updated 2011 guidelines and your current incomes. It has nothing to do with her expenses, or f she buys a house.

She is entitled to the reimbursements per the Order, though you have an argument that her delay in getting these receipts will cause your husband hardship if he is now ordered to pay them, especially in light of your efforts to try and resolve this issue, though I cannot predict what a judge will do in any one case.


She hand-delivered invoices from 05/27 - 06/22 today (07/17) when we dropped off the kids. We will pay our half tomorrow.


Here we go again.
We mailed the request for July invoices 08/01/2011 CM/RRR and Regular Mail.
We gave her 15 days to respond, as we have 15 days to pay her upon receipt of invoices as per the Order.
(I thought that was reasonable; We even included e-mail addresses for electronic submission and receipt to make it more convenient)

As of 08/18, the CM/RRR is being returned unclaimed.

Every letter we have ever sent her ever states under her name and address:
“Sent via Certified Mail/Return Receipt Requested XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX and Regular Mail”

I was taught at the legal firm for whom I worked in NJ that the reason you send stuff both CM/RRR AND Regular Mail is for just such a scenario: You can still prove she was “served” because even though the CM/RRR can be refused, you are pretty much guaranteed delivery through Regular Mail.

A. Is that actually legitimate, and legit in the State of NC?

We have all the USPS transcripts of submission, attempted delivery, USPS receipts, etc.

B. She is currently in violation of the Court Order just to be an inconvenient pain because she thinks we have no legal recourse.

(We’re documenting all of this b/c it’s positively ridiculous…And wouldn’t a Judge love to see this coming from a woman who complains she has no money for the children???)

Since my husband now has to write to her AGAIN can we at least threaten her with legal recourse?
Like if she doesn’t submit immediately we’ll file a motion and subpoena the documents? Something scary-sounding like that?

Remember, this is the same woman for whom we had to get a Court Order just to allow my husband’s children to attend our wedding in NJ before we all moved to NC…

I’m sick of her running our lives b/c she dangles my stepchildren in front of us like a donkey and a carrot.

As always, thank you again for your kind attention - I’ll send you ladies an Edible Arrangement as soon as the Ex stops draining us dry :slight_smile:

The simple answer is that you do not have to pay your share of the bills you have not seen, and you absolutely should keep records of your attempts to get the info and pay.

This is what we submitted to her yesterday - The regular mail copy is in with the CS check so I know she will get it even if she refuses the CM/RRR - All names have been changed to protect privacy:

Sent via Certified Mail/Return Receipt Requested
And Regular Mail

Re: 08/02/2011 Letter Regarding
July 2011 Invoices

Dear Ms. Ex:

It has been more than fifteen calendar days since your receipt of the above-mentioned correspondence sent via Regular Mail.

The letter sent Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested dated same is being returned via the United States Postal Service due to your refusal of acceptance.

You are currently in violation of Section 1 of the North Carolina Amended Order requiring submission of medical and dental invoices for both Son A and Son B on a monthly basis.

Your refusal to cooperate with these simple requests brings unnecessary hardship to the care, treatment and welfare of our sons and additional hardship on my household.

You have failed to provide to me any documents supporting claims for compensation regarding the previously-mentioned expenditures; therefore I cannot compensate you for expenses that have not been submitted to me in the time in which I asked.

Mr. X

Just out of curiosity, I know we’ll have to wind up paying, but is there any way we can motion the Court to make her stop her bs?
It’s already been documented in court papers from 2007 that she, even at that point, had never submitted invoices (she tried suing us for that too last time) and so we have a Court-documented history of her refusing to cooperate.

I really wanna stop having to e-mail and bug you ladies, but if she keeps this up, doesn’t seem like an end is near - This is so freakin insane

Don’t worry, you are not bugging me! This is my job and I love being able to help people with family law issues. As for your question, you could try filing a motion for judicial assistance and ask that the court put some parameters in place to prevent this from continuing, such as something like, if she does not send the bill within 90 days of receiving it, she loses her right to reimbursement for that bill. That may get her to stop playing these kind of games with you.


If we file a order for Judicial Assistance:

A. Can we file in Rowan where we live or does it have to be Alamance where the kids live and the original Order was issued?
B. 1. According to the Statutes (and forgive me-like you don’t know this…): Unless a civil action involving the agreement to arbitrate is
pending, notice of an initial motion to the court under this Article shall be served in the manner provided by law for the service of
a summons in a civil action.
2. Does that mean in order to file a Motion, we have to serve her with a Civil Summons first as the Order was signed 06/2008?
3. I am the Google Queen and can’t find a form appropriate for the situation (I could only find business law) or county for “Judicial
C. The Order states she must submit invoices “on a monthly basis” We’ve been giving her 15 calendar days to produce, language of the Order does not include a specific due date. Is 15 calendar days reasonable, since we have 15 days (since “business” is not mentioned in the Order, legally it defaults to calendar, right?)to remit payment upon receipt of invoices according to the Order? Otherwise, like you suggested, she forfeits her right to reimbursement. Can we do that? I mean, we’ve even given her Internet options so she doesn’t even have to pay for a stamp and can send them on a Sunday, and she still won’t cooperate…

Thanks again, my dear Esquire - It will end- I promise, or so I keep telling myself!
Warmest Regards!

The motion is filed where the action is pending, so that would be in Alamance. Motions can be sent via regular mail, summons are only issued at the beginning of an action- when the complaint is filed. So it will be a much easier process. Good luck to you, and you are always welcome!