Moving Out

Dear Tina,
Don’t leave the house if you want the house! If you and your child are not in danger (abuse)then you are better off to stay in the house. GET A Lawyer! There is a way to file for divorce and still live in the house, its hard, but doable if you are not in danger. I was in an emotionally abusive situation and I wanted him to move out and he wouldn’t. I didn’t found out until too late that I could have filed for separation anyway. He had already been divorced and knew that if he left the house he would lose it, I didn’t…now I do. I took the kids and left him and even though he “has no money to compensate us” I have been told that no judge will force him to leave the house and give it to us because I left the house. So far he has barely paid child support, no alimony(even though I was ruled the dependent spouse), he keeps his business, the house, his car (newer) and he is asking for me to pay him for half his business debts and unpaid taxes(self employed).
I was never unfaithful, and even after 15 months of separation I do not date (abuse makes one distrustful). He started sleeping with his divorce attorney almost immediately (maybe even before…I was too trusting of an abusive man, but that is part of the abuse, I was the only one that had to prove anything in the relationship).
Good luck, no matter what. I do believe that what goes around comes around and even though the human in us makes us want to get the revenge or at least see it happen, that isn’t how it always works. But he will still get what is coming to him.

If your attorney has reviewed all the facts of your case and has advised you to move out, then you should rely on their advice or seek a second opinion if you feel you cannot rely on that advice.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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I have an attorney and we have on numerous occasions tried to get my husbands attorney to respond to the separation agreement that we drew up all to no avail. My attorney has suggested that I get an apartment and go ahead and move out with my child. She will file for custody and child support the day I move out. Because my husband is not a dependent spouse and he knows that I want a divorce and I wanted to stay in the house for our child’s sake as to not disrupt his life that he could not get me for abandonment. Do you feel this to be true?

Tina Barrett