Moving with child


#1

My wife and I have been separated for 4 months. We have been working on a separation agreement which included the child custody agreement. We have not agreed to anything yet. She sent me a letter stating that she has moved to Florida and has taken my 15 year old son without my knowledge or consent. She moved on the same day that she mailed the letter to me. Can I get her for moving and taking my son out of state?

She also quit her job to move out of state so that she could avoid having to pay spousal support. What can I do about that?


#2

I do not have an answer for you but would like to say I am sorry. I do feel that a judge will not look upon her actions in any positive manner. I think her actions shows she does not have your son’s interest in mind, only her own. The only advice I have is try to contact your son every day~ even small text if no answer. I’m sure he is just as or more confused than you. Best of luck.


#3

What she did was commit parental kidnapping. You need to file an Emergency Order to have your child returned to this state. Her actions will not be looked upon well with the courts. You should file asap. I’m sure Erin can elaborate.


#4

I don’t believe it’s parental kidnapping if there isn’t a custody order in place. However, you can file for emergency custody pending a hearing with the judge. If the judge grants emergency custody, you can go and bring your child back to NC until the hearing for custody where the judge will likely issue an order governing the terms of temporary custody between the parents.

I am not an attorney


#5

I am not a lawyer

Speaking as someone who has done almost exactly what your wife has done (differences: I left the state because I was afraid, and that was the day we separated, I had to leave my job so I could leave the state to be safe, and my stbx is an addict), I can say that it is not considered kidnapping.

Of course, you can file for emergency custody, and ask that the judge require your wife and child to return to NC, and depending on the circumstances surrounding why she left (ie, did she do it out of spite, did she do it out of fear?) the judge may or may not order her return. In my case, the judge allowed me to stay because I went to my nearest family (which happened to be in FL), and because my stbx is an addict, and we were not safe. If there are no reasons why she “had” to leave, you have a very good chance that the judge may order their return (or at the minimum, your child’s return, but you know she’ll come back with the child if the child is required to return). Judges don’t like it when parents leave the state just because. There really has to be a good reason (like, if you are abusive, an addict, etc) for a judge to be okay with a parent moving to where visitation is hindered.

All that said, I don’t know the specifics of your case, so I cannot say how I feel about your particular case, but unless there is good reason to keep your child from you, the courts don’t like to allow things like this.

Don’t have any idea about the spousal support thing…not an issue in my case.


#6

She quit her job because she is, more than likely, going to have to pay spousal support. Her lawyer even told her that. It was done out of spite. She left the state for the same reason. Her and my son were staying with her sister, even though she had the house that we used to live in. She decided to let the house go into foreclosure. She easily had the means to keep it.

She moved to Florida, because that is where the man that she was having an affair with before we separated lives. She visited him for a week in September, but they had been having an affair for about a year before that as he would come to visit his parents in Raleigh and she would go there to spend weekends with him. I did not know about any of this until a couple of months after the separation which was, coincidentally, one week after her visit with him in Florida.

I have never been abusive, physically or verbally. I have always been supportive. I have never smoked anything, including tobacco or drugs, I have never tasted an alcoholic beverage and I have never taken illegal drugs. I don’t even like taking an aspirin unless it is absolutely necessary.


#7

You should file an action for emergency custody to have your child returned to NC.


#8

Is there a form or a list of statutes that I need to include in the action? If there is an example I can create the form needed from that.


#9

Check with your county courthouse to see if they have a self help clinic with the form documents needed to file emergency custody.


#10

My local county courthouse does not have a self help area.


#11

You may want to consider our DIY service for assistance, we have a complete library of forms you can use, and access to an attorney who will answer your questions.