Need Help with Equitable Distribution of Debt

I think you are worrying yourself a little to much on this.
The laws for Equitable distribution were designed to make things fair for both parties. There is no way you will end up with all the debt unless he files for BK and if he does, the you may have a problem because the debtors only have you left to come after and if you have income, they expect to get paid. If, you cannot pay all the debt and qualify for BK also, then you should jump on his BK bandwagon and let him pay for it. If, he says he is goinf BK, be nice and say "I think this is a briliant idea! when can WE get it started? Let me know when I need to come and sign the papers.
Then, lets see if he comes back and needs money for a lawyer to file it. If so then he is blowing hot air.

I know how you feel about busting your butt all your life and then ending up like this. I have done the same and now, I am heading for BK because the judge ordered me to pay $1600.00 a month more in obligations then I have income. I am living off credit cards which will end up in BK before my divorce is over. And, I will lose the house we bougth a week befoe she files for which we paid 50K down on from my IRA. I expect to lose it all becasue I am a man so, you really have nothing to worry about. Just go into court and stand tall and let them know you will not allow yourself to be screwed over. Just make sure your professional and keep your cool. do not sign anything you are not happy with.

BTW, it does not matter where your debt came from during your marriage. It is still marital debt. You made the mistake of marrying this guy just as I made the mistake of marrying my wife.

I would suspect that when this is all over and done with, you will be splitting the debt unless, there is property involved. If, you get the property and there is any equity in it, then he would get credit for giving you his equity by moving some of his bedt to you.
This is only fair. If, you want to stay out of BK and lower your debt and you have equity in a home, you should sell it and pay down your debt and start over withyour life. even if it means a smaller home or apartment living. Livng with financial stress is no fun.


Thank you so much for your kind advice.

I indeed sold the house. Lost money on it, b/c we had a home equity line of credit that we used to buy his truck.

We had to take $81 to closing, on 10/18/06. He said he couldn’t even come up with 1/2 of that.

I put in $3300 of my folks’ retirement money to fix up the house to pass inspection.

At least it sold, and I won’t be stuck paying a house payment for a home that I no longer live in.

I can’t afford anything right now, b/c I’m paying daycare $800/mo, and all the bills for the moment.

I moved back into the back of my parent’s house.

I’m glad that was an option, but mad at soon to be ex b/c of the situation I’ve let him put me in. It’s hard being out of the home and on your own for 15 yrs, then crawling back, with child in tow.

Thank you again for the advice. That makes me feel better.
Now I’ll fill out those lovely ED forms that are asking me to recount everything that we owe, bought, and sold during the marriage and during the separation.

[?]I’ve answered my husbands divorce with a counter claim to E.D of debt. He filed this in his county, Guilford county.
I sold the house after putting $3300 into it to ready it for market.
I paid $82 at closing, and got back $39 from 2nd mortage in overage.
Not a lot to quibble over there.
We have $49K in unsecured debt that I’m asking him to pay 1/2 of.
I’m doing this on my own.
I’ll get attorney if I have to, but I any money I can get, I’m using for a local Wake County (my residence) custody suit.
I downloaded all the forms to fill out.
Any advice from anyone on this?
The debt came from our small anniversary trips we made for 7 years, and paying the mortage several times, and other monthly bills, when he would quit a job and go for months without another job.
A lot of debt paid for the birth of our daugther a few years ago.
A lot is his shopping, video games, car parts, and new clothes for new jobs.
The other were our household expenses … groceries, food, toilet paper.
I had to “rob peter to pay paul” for 6 of our 7 years.
He was a compulsive spender, bought junk cars with cash, “fixer uppers”, but then I’d have to borrow money to pay the bills b/c he’d spent the budgeted bill money on his “toys”.
How deep do I have to go to prove all of this?
I thought as long as it was debt we acquired during the marriage, and both of our names were on it, or he co-signed (used his income at the tim, to qualify), that he had to pay 1/2.
I’ve paid everything for the last 15 months, with no help from him (plus care for the child, health, etc).
I can’t borrow any more money to pay min. payments. It’s a vicious cycle, and he thinks he won’t be held accountable for any of it.
Thanks (I’m doing all I can NOT to file bankruptcy … I busted my butt all my life to pay my bills on time, then fell in love and unknowingly married a manic-depressive who never paid for all that he got.
He even left with a $2000 junk car, and one of the T.V.'s I’d bought with my birthday money a few years ago, since he was always playing his video games on our main t.v. He thinks he’s walking away and washing his hands of it.
It’s hard to believe some people really this ignorant (and myself, included, for marrying him).