Negotiating after filing for equitable distribution

My STBX were married for 18 years and separated shortly over a year ago. We have not come to an agreement on financial distribution. We both want to move forward and “keep the peace”, but he does not want to provide any funds from his 401K and will not tell me how much is in the account. I would like to proceed with filing for absolute divorce and equitable distribution at the same time.

If I file for ED now and we reach an agreement before a court hearing, do we still have to go to court for ED?

Also, are we required to have an attorney to represent us if we do go to court for ED?

You can file for equitable distribution (ED) and absolute divorce at the same time.

If equitable distribution is not fully and permanently resolved by the time you file for absolute divorce, it is strongly advised that you also file for equitable distribution so you don’t lose the right of the courts to divide the marital property once the divorce is granted.

Filing a lawsuit for ED will open up the ability for you to issue subpoenas and serve discovery in order to obtain the necessary information you need like account statements.

If you reach an agreement before any court hearings, then you can submit that agreement in the formal of a consent court order for the judge to sign. Upon entry of an ED consent order, your ED claim will be resolved and “finished.”

You do not have to have an attorney represent you in ED.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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