Non-Court Ordered Custody Agreement


#1

If you believe that your ex intends to move with the children you can go to court and seek an order requiring that the children remain here. If both parents are active and involved with the children and she does not have a legitimate reason for wanting to move, the court may rule that she cannot change the permanent residence of the children. If you are involved with your children, the court may order this even though you don’t share custody of the children equally. For the purposes of child custody, it is the involvement with the children that matters, as well as the reason the other parents want to move, and the potential impact on the child if they move.

When child support is calculated, the number of overnights is what is used. Keep in mind, the court views these issues differently.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#2

Helena,

I read your bio. You have a lot of experience and I appreciate your insights.


#3

Thank you, it is always nice to know that people find our forum to be a positive thing.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#4

My ex wife and I wrote up and notarized our own custody agreement which included how often I would have the children. Depending on how we choose to interpret the schedule, the children are entitled to be with me between 143 - 195 days per year.

How days are counted is of some concern to me. For example, if I have my children from Sunday morning at 12:01am until Sunday night at 7pm, but my ex wife has the children from 7pm to midnight - she is the one who is able to claim the “day” for child support and custody purposes (because they were overnight with her). Is this correct?

Here is what I’m getting at.

Our custody agreement uses the following jargon: “Both parents will share joint legal and physical custody of the minor children.” This was not a court ordered document, so I understand that it doesn’t carry the same weight. I’m guessing that a court would likely consider our actual arrangement otherwise, meaning, my wife would be considered to have primary custody since she has more than 50% of the annual overnights. If she would be considered to be the primary custodian, then she would have the right to move wherever she wants and I don’t much say in it. However, if I had the children with me more than 50% of the nights then I would end up being considered the primary caregiver and she could not just snatch them away without warning again.

I’m so confused.

I want to prevent my ex from taking my children and moving away from me for a second time - thus crippling my relationship with them. Does the number of overnights make a big difference if they are close to 50/50, but tipped in her favor?

I just don’t know if this non-court ordered agreement is worth the paper it is written on. I don’t want her to take my kids away from me again. I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars trying to maintain a relationship with them in spite of her actions.

What should I do?