Perjury on Application to Court for Absolute Divorce

My goal is to have your firm represent me. I need to locate the money for that first. It would seem that NC has a rather unique form
of divorce (Absolute Divorce), that when described to judges and lawyers outside the state, leaves them with mouths hanging open, just ready for the flies to land.

Joking aside, it’s been the quickest way to quieten a room, namely to be sarcastically asked by judge and opposing attorney alike, just WHY it is that my motions about MY particular divorce are so “special”. When I briefly describe the AD, I am met with derision. I explain hollywood’s numerous TV and movie scenarios on divorce, and our public’s generally perceived common knowledge of divorce, as well as what the legal minds across the country (aside from NC “where divorce is different” to quote your radio show’s headline) earnestly believe to be fact, well, just isn’t.

Even my close relatives believe I signed some sort of divorce documents. Had to have. Right? Wrong. There are loopholes in what the NC legislators thought was a good divorce law.
The problem is that as with most laws, there are going to be sly folks who will take advantage of otherwise honest and trusting souls.

I have researched everything I can and see no where is there any real answers into whether the spouse seeking an AD has to prove residency, prove separation, prove that the spouse receiving their service of an AD action wasn’t in the hospital, or went to a divorce lawyer in their state who said “well we have time to go over this when you are out of the hospital”. There is nothing on that first piece of AD petition for divorce (downloaded pro se from the internet), stating there is a 30-day window to post an objection.
There is NO where written that the parties must communicate at least one time, even by phone call or thru lawyers, before the 30 day period is up.

If the spouse seeking divorce has lied so completely when seeking a divorce and has hidden from all manner of legal contact until and after the divorce was decreed (self-employer, no address, off the grid) how and where does the jilted ex-spouse now go? You’ve talked of perjury, and that that should scare someone lying about the above. But this isn’t a civil issue. Where do we go for criminal redress?

You need to file an answer which denies the false allegations in the Complaint and the court will then set a hearing date to determine which set of facts alleged in the pleadings are true and correct.
Perjury is a punishable crime, and it is up to the DA to prosecute.