Separation Advice

I can’t advise you on whether or not to file for bankruptcy other than to say that it sounds a little extreme to do this since it will affect you both for so long after this is over. I understand the issue with wanting to move on, but could other arrangment not be made?
If you are amicable, maybe arrange to stay somewhere else for several days a week and then your spouse stays somewhere else for the remaining part of the week…that could be a way that you legally separate, but do not have to get out of your lease. At the end of the lease, you could officially move and then all you would have is the remaining 5 months of separation. This may also help with the child. This way the child can remain in the home until…providing that you are sharing custody…
Child support would depend on custody also…IMHO, if you are sharing custody and could work this arrangement out, there would be little need for much in child support. The child would be in the same home, have the benefit of both parents, care and necessities for the majority of the separation. Now after the lease is up, the child custody and support could be refigured.

If you two can come to an agreement without involving attorneys it will be easier and cheaper. It’s good to consult with an attorney but agreements are always easier on everyone involved and you can agree to change arrangements at a later date as the child gets older…

Well that would be a good plan but we really have no where to go. Once we move out neither of us can afford to stay in this area alone. One of the biggest issues is money. We are both only 24 and really got ourselves into debt. Thats kind of why i thought that possibly bankruptcy would be an option. I know it would really hurt our credit but well have plenty of time to build it back up.

We are just trying to make this a clean quick break. Custody will be shared. We really have nothing of concern to split besides debt. I mean if they are going to repo the car, and send our 9 or so credit cards to collections, wouldn’t it make sense to just cut it now? Before all of this becomes even more stressful.

I do not practice bankruptcy law so I cannot advise you as to whether this is a good idea. Child support would start as soon as you separate, there is no need to file any separation papers.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
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I am trying to get on my way to start my separation process. My spouse and i have decided to separate and keep it as civil as possible. We are also trying to make it as quick and painless as possible. We have a 1 year old and custody/child support aren’t issues. The only issue we seem to be having is this.

We currently have 7 months left on our lease and do not want to wait 7 months to be able to start the 1 year of separate living. We also are in credit card debt and have car payments. At the current time we can barely afford the bills we have together let alone if we were to split up. Now, would it be better to stay living together in our unhappy relationship, along with the bills we will not be able to afford. Or would it make things easier and quicker if we were to just file for bankruptcy, go our separate ways and start over?

We both have places to go and small yet steady income. Would filing for bankruptcy and leaving our apt lease be that bad of an idea? Another thing is, at the moment we have work schedules that allow us to not need child care. We also will be living at least 40 min away from each other. If we were to just part ways asap, would child support be started after filing the separation papers and moving out? The waiting list for child care assistance is like 6 months so that wouldn’t be much help at this time.

I will be talking to an attorney soon but i would just like to get a heads up on our options.