Your date of separation is the date that you and you wife stopped residing in the marital residence together and when one of you formed the intent to remain separate and apart. Your date of separation can start while you are deployed, but it would need to be the date that you formed the intent to remain separate and apart.
Your three weeks back at the marital residence likely will not reset the one year separation period if you do not resume the marital relationship, you do not hold yourself out to the public that you are husband and wife, and you do not have the intent to reconcile. However, I would caution you about doing this because the argument could be made by your wife that there was an intent to reconcile the marriage.
Your wife will still be entitled to one-half of the marital estate, including your retirement. An affair of any kind, emotional of physical, or any kind of marital misconduct generally does not affect equitable distribution (property division). An emotional affair will not affect alimony although an act of illicit sexual behavior would.
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.