Separation prior to sep. agreement affect my alimony?


My STBX have not yet signed a separation agreement. I’m the dependent spouse and he has agreed verbally that I will stay in the house. For many years, he has given me an “allowance” of $6000 per month for household expenses, etc. and for my own personal expenses. This is approximately what I would seek in alimony. However, he is dragging his feet on signing the agreement and leaving the home. I FEEL LIKE I AM HOSTAGE TO HIS FOOT-DRAGGING. CAN I SIMPLY SPEND ALL NIGHTS AT MY MOM’S HOME, with the clear intention to separate permanently, and thus initiate the separation, which starts the clock ticking for my year’s waiting period prior to absolute divorce, without jeopardizing the substance of our eventual settlement? I would return to our home during the day, as usual for my work purposes, as I teach there, and the only difference would be that I would spend NO MORE NIGHTS with him still in the house. Would this work to initiate my separation period? I’m suffering from his threats of suicide, and his smothering me in the house. Thank you for a clear answer.

“Hostage to his foot-dragging in my own home.”


As long as you are not ‘living’ in the house with the intent to resume marital relations…and have established a separate address, then I believe that would be considered living separate.

Your husband does NOT have to sign an separation agreement. If he doesn’t…and you leave…then you will have to file legally for Post Separation Support/alimony. You can ask for 6K, but that may not be what you get.

You really need to talk to a lawyer as soon as possible.


You may live with your mother to effectuate separation, however in order to do this you need to leave the residence completely. Otherwise the period of separation becomes difficult to prove as by returning to the home daily you can be considered to be “holding out to the public that you are still living as husband and wife.
Once you leave the residence you will not be able to return as your husband will have the right to change the locks and exclude you from the home. You of course will still have a marital ownership interest in the home which will not be affected, however you will no longer be able to enter the home without his permission.
If you do chose to leave be sure to take ALL personal items and anything else you will need to live during the period in which you work out the property and alimony issues.
You may want to consider moving forward and filing a court action for property distribution and alimony. This will move your husband along and force him to engage in the process. You do have to be living separate and apart to file suit, and you can do so the same day to move to your mother’s.