Separation Questions about Moving and Bills

I am moving out of the home I shared with my spouse because we are going to get a divorce in a year. (North Carolina rule must live apart one year.) Can I take all my things from the home like the new washer and dryer in my name? Can anyone move in the home we shared (not related) until the divorce is final? Who will be responsible for the mortgage payments and can I turn off the bills in my name?

You can move out any of your personal property that you acquired before the marriage but you cannot move out any marital property (acquired during the marriage, regardless of how it is titled) without an agreement between the spouses.

Once separated one of the spouses could allow someone else to move in but this is generally not a wise idea.

For family law purposes, the spouse keeping the house will be responsible for making the mortgage payments. If the mortgage is jointly titled, then the spouse keeping the house and the mortgage will need to refinance the mortgage so the other spouse’s name can come off the loan.

You can turn off utilities in your name but you should provide reasonable written notice to your spouse that this is your intention on or after a specific date.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

My wife continues to cause the disturbance at our home. The verbally abusive from her has gone on for years off and on but, it has escalated the past 6 months. I sleep in the back bedroom and she sleeps in the master bedroom that’s in the front of the home. She comes to my room and bangs on the door and says all kinds of offensive things repeatedly all times of the day as late as 3:00 am in the morning (mainly about our children and me) and keep telling me to get out of her house. Is that legal? She gets in my face trying to start a physical fight. She called the police trying to get me kicked out of the home and arrested. Is that legal? (It’s so bad now my son moved out) I stayed with family members for 3 and 2 days to get away from the verbal assaults and when I came back she had thrown some of my things in the trash can, (Is that legal?) she called my job harassing them for my information and trying to get me fired, she forged my signature on paperwork at DSS office, (Is that legal?) and she is opening my mail (Is that legal?) to get information about the mortgage. She called the mortgage office to get the account moved into her name. is it legal for them to give her information if her name is not on the mortgage?

Your wife’s disturbing you at all hours of the night could be a form of marital misconduct.

She can call the police if she feels threatened, just as you can, but law enforcement may be able to tell if the call was for no legitimate purpose other than to be spiteful to you.

Your wife cannot throw away your things until there is a separation agreement addressing equitable distribution or an equitable distribution court order. You should keep track of any of your things that she has thrown away without your permission or consent.

It is illegal for her to forge your signature. You should contact the DSS caseworker to let them know that your signature is forged and you did not actually sign the document.

She should not be opening your mail. You should consider opening a P.O. Box and changing your address to the P.O. Box and forwarding all other mail to the P.O. Box.

The mortgage lender will likely be unable to give your wife any information about the mortgage if the mortgage is in your name and not hers.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.