Separation


#1

First I would applaud your consideration of the hardship this will put on your family, even including your wife who you intend to separate from. I do suggest however that while you are being so generous, you take a look at the inpact it may have on your wife for you to continue to “take care of everything” for the next year. My suggestion is to have the utilities put into her name and have her be responsible for those. A lot can change in a year and it would probably do her good to have those already set up for when the home is sold. I am not certain on this but if the home was purchased with inheritance, it may legally be considered separate property.
My only other suggestion is that you have all this put into a separation agreement. Especially considering that if the credit card debt that she has been struggling with was accumulated during the marriage, it is legally 1/2 your debt also. If she is going to be responsible for that debt alone after separation you really need to get it in writing to protect both of you.
As I said, things can change considerably in a year and what sounds good now, may not seem so when one of you, or both of you begin to date…just something to think about…


#2

Based on the income information you posted it appears that you will have an obligation to provide spousal support. Your plan to continue to pay expenses for your Wife after you move out is a legally good option. However, I think you should consult with an attorney to find out exactly what they would recommend that you pay, before you establish a pattern of paying support.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#3

Thanks for the replies and suggestions.
I didn’t mean to be away so long from the forum but my time is limited working both jobs.

My wife could likely carry the utilities, but certainly not more. I have a guy here at work with an extra bedroom that where I can stay and I’ll of course have to contribute to the rent (shouldn’t be much). I don’t want to continue the second job any longer than I have to as it is physically difficult with the little sleep I get.

True, things can change over the course of a year…I can’t even imagine what they might be that far ahead. And I hadn’t even thought about dating at this point in time. Can you even do that while separated?

Doughnut


#4

Yes you can date while separated. It is illegal to have sex with someone other than your spouse but you are allowed to date. Adultery is a misdemeanor and is rarely prosecuted but it can affect a lot of things and it would be easier to spend this year sorting out your stuff. I only mentioned it because if you do not look ahead you may be setting yourself up for more hardships and hurt down the road. My husband and his ex had a amicable separation until he and I started dating. All of a sudden, she wanted full custody of the children, the rest of the stuff from the home, wanted him to sell her business because she no longer wanted him doing the books, threatened me on numerous occasions…and she is the one who wanted the separation and was already on her 3rd boyfriend by then. Dating is just one instance where this could happen. There are a lot of people who will agree to anything just to be away from the marriage but then in looking back think…I should have done this or I should not have done that. Just something to think about…


#5

You can date while you are separated, but to be on the safe side you should not begin dating until your property and support issues are resolved. It would not be pleasant for you if your Wife believed you were having an affair and you were wrongly accused of having an affair.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#6

Thanks for the explanation. I would have expected that neither dating or sex were allowed during separation. No problem here though, I really would like some time to myself. I’ve two classic vehicles that I can work on which is something my wife frowns upon me doing. I would have thought that she would be happy to have me home instead of out playing cards with the guys. Go figure. Thanks again for your thoughts.

Doughnut


#7

I am looking to separate from my wife within two months time. I expect to visit an attorney shortly but thought I’d poke a few questions in here to get myself started.

I’m looking to move out of the house but plan to continue paying the mortgage and utility bills. I have two daughters still at home at ages 19 and 21, the younger is in a local school. I anticipate selling the home after a year of separation at which time we would split the profits.
The home was purchased with my inheritance and we really don’t have any savings, stocks, bonds, etc worth mentioning. My thoughts here are that I should continue to pay the bills to lessen the impact on my wife who has been struggling with credit card debt. There are no hard feelings here, I just have a need to move out on my own.

I am making $60k at my main job and am working 25hrs a week at a second job. My wife makes $40k per year. What recommendations might you have for me to consider?
Thanks.

Doughnut