Dear seperated:

Greetings. First, you are not legally separated if you live together. You cannot live upstairs, her downstairs, and be separated. Legally separated means separate homes.

Now, you cannot have sex legally with anyone other than your spouse while you are married, even if you are separated. Yes, you can have sex with your wife, even if you are legally separated, but remember that incidents of sex may be proof of a reconciliation. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I just want to say a thing about what you can and cannot do. Legal, moral and common sense were totally redefined during my separation and negotiation phase (didnt do a court divorce). Thank GOd, I didnt trust him to do mediation. We used collaborative law and I highly recommend it! My husband and I lived in a rather nice subdivision with friends and family nearby. For 30 years I thought I knew him. When I moved out, everything changed even the rules/agreements that we lived by. Within a month, while we were in counseling he began to date heavily and within 4 months had a new woman living in “our” house and her older children there often. Now, legally what would be the point of accusing him of adultry? Alimony? Nah, I can take care of myself. What judge would “lock” him up for sleeping with someone and cohabitation? Bah!

On the other hand when I got over the shock and humiliation, I used it as a bargaining tool during property and support settlement. SO, you legally cant sleep with someone but “aint no one gonna enforce it”. I amd doing well now and am putting it behind me. Good luck.


I have 2 questions. When legally seperated can you have sex with someone and can that someone be your future x. Also can you still live in the same house while looking for a seperate place to live.