Should have posted under legal--2 questions


Dear menaly2003:

Greetings. I would inform him that you plan to go to the judge and ask for relief from his behavior which seeks to undermine the intent of the agreement you made.

Second question - you know that this violates the order by having your boyfriend overnight while your child is there, regardless of how long the relationship has been in existence.

Your best bet is to renegotiate this agreement with your ex. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


So glad I found this board.

I need some help regarding the notion of right of first refusal. (I originally posted this under parenting, but it is a legal matter.)

First question: My ex and I signed our custody agreement giving us joint legal and him primary physical custody. In the document is “right of first refusal” if he will be away from the child(ren) for more than five hours.

Two weeks ago my youngest child (4 yr. old girl) had finished day camp and had not yet started school. Even though I am off for the summer and asked to have her with me during the week (on more than one occasion), he left her with someone else (a 20-something male) at his home, came home for lunch, went back to work 30-60 minutes later, and he got around the order that way. I was free day and night that whole week and would have been happy to have her with me any or all of that time.

I can’t believe that the intent of the law is to allow him to get away with this. Is he violating the order with this behavior or is he successfully finding a way around it? Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening again? There are two more days when this will be an issue before school starts, and I want to know my rights.

Second question: the custody order states that I cannot have any overnight guests with whom I am in a “dating relationship.” Only definition of dating relationship I can find (in legal matters) has to do with domestic violence, so it defines what isn’t a dating relationship for those purposes.

My significant other and I have been living together for over a year. We are in a committed relationship, but I, for one, really don’t want to get married again (at least not in the near future) for many reasons (political, financial, religious, and so on). We’ve both been separated over a year; my divorce is final; his divorce papers are currently being filed.

We started off living together as friends for financial reasons, but our relationship is now intimate (and has been for at least 11 months). I prefer that we consider ourselves domestic partners. We share expenses (and have for over a year), are monogamous, and basically we do what any married couple would do without the official ceremony. We are way beyond the “dating” stage.

When I have my children over night, he’s been going to a friend’s house. The children know him, adore him, and think he’s great. I hate to keep putting him out like this, especially when this is his home as well–he pays half the bills. Can he sleep at the house? I have no intention of sharing a bed with him while the children are here; however, I would like him to be able to stay and sleep in our bed, and I will sleep in a different room. Any advice would be helpful.

Thanks in advance for any advice. I have more questions but I hold them for now. I am currently without legal representation because I cannot afford to pay anymore. I just need some advice from people who have been here and/or someone with more legal knowledge than me.