Spouse lives in North Carolina

If both of you wants a divorce then it shouldn’t matter where its done as long as you meet the criterias of divorcing but when it comes to the children, you need to really consider all the moving you are doing taking them in and out of school ,starting over, making new friends. If you and your kids are settled in FL and they are well rounded with school,church ,friends and etc I wouldn’t move the ex should consider moving but if not and you think they will be more productive and happy in NC with their father then yes move to NC. Thats just my opinion. I’m curious, what type of job you have that allows you to relocate so easily?

I was always a stay at home mom and the children are still very young. Their range is 20months- 6yrs. Up till this point my husband and I have lived off his income. Since my expences are very low since I have been staying with my mom in Florida, there has been no issue.

I know that I will have to re-enter the work force after a divorce, but after seeing the difference in how guidelines are set for CS in NC and calculating out my earning potential coupled with Day Care, I am getting concerned. I fully expect that I will have to pull my weight, but there are huge differences in CS guidelines. Again, I am not looking for the best deal, i do want the kids to be close to their dad but he is insistent that he is not going paying more than the guidelines.


If you have been the dependant spouse you could be entitled to some sort of post separation support/alimony. This could be an amount agreed on to help with living expenses until you do get a job and back supporting yourself. If you move back to NC is the ex going to continue to support you until the divorce with living expenses? If he’s not willing to pay more than the child support guidelines then how are you planning to move and live here in NC until the divorce and you go back to work?
If the sole reason you are concerned about the move is money then my suggestion is that you get some agreement with your ex. If you have other reasons such as family then I suggest you think about the long term before you decide. There can be arrangements worked out on visitations for him if it is still necessary for you to be with your mother. While I believe it is always better if the children can have both parents involved in their lives as much as possible, sadly that is not always possible.
Your ex only has to be a resident of NC for 6 months to file for divorce. Your separation must be one year and one day before he can file. Child support is a different issue from divorce and alimony/pss. It can be filed at any time. If you currently have no income then the guidelines would reflect that in the child support calculations. No, your ex doesn’t have to pay any more child support than the guidelines state.
Would a move for the ex be out of the question?

Based on what you’re saying NC would be the best way to go for divorce, based on what you said you will be entitled to Alimony, and Child support and based on how much he makes it can quite a piece of money.

You can file for divorce in North Carolina, before you do so you will need to deal with your issues regarding the division of any marital property you may have and get provisions in place for spousal support. You can deal with the issues of child support and child custody at any time. The laws vary from state to state so if you believe that Florida law may be more favorable to you, I would advise you to consult with a Florida attorney before making a decision.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband and I are originally from Illinois. He moved to NC last year and I remained in IL after realizing the marriage was not working in IL and would not work in NC. After 6 months I went with my children to FL to assist my mom.

During this time I decided I wanted a divorce.

Currently I am still in FL, but my husband is insisting and I have agreed to move to NC so that he may be closer to the children.

He is insisting we file in NC after he has been there for a year which is coming up in June.

Am I making a mistake? Should we be seeking a divorce in that state? I want my husband to be near his children but at the same time I am concerned about child support and my ability to support myself in a state in which I have no friends or family.