Spouse said I could have everything on recorded call

This is such a sensitive subject but here goes. Two weeks ago my daughter told me that her dad was doing criminal things to her. I don’t want to go into details, but he is in jail with charges that if the he is convicted of the top charge, he will serve a minimum of 25 years in prison. He brought us out here a year ago with his job, and I have been financially dependent on him for roughly 14 years. He has lost his job in the process and we are about to lose benefits as well. We do not have an income coming in. (Yet) So that’s the situation. I do plan on filing for an absolute divorce next year, But while in jail, on a recorded line, he told me that I could have it all. I asked him what he meant, and he said everything, including his 401(k). I spoke to an attorney who said it’s 50-50 law and talked to me about equitable distribution. I don’t know if he is going to follow through on what he said, but if he does, I want to get that in writing as soon as possible. I want to know the process of how I can do this on my own. We don’t have enough money to pay for the life that we have out here. We have a mortgage on a huge house and lots of bills so the quotes I’ve been getting were $5000-$7000 for an attorney. I’m applying for services and everything I can that can offset the cost that we currently have so I can preserve what money we do have and make it last as long as possible until I get a steady income. (I’m looking for a family law attorney to take us on pro bono, but not much luck in that). While he has a public defender for the criminal case for free, we have to pay out-of-pocket for something that is not our fault. I was able to get legal aid help for the domestic violence portion of the case, but they cannot help with family law. I don’t know if it is possible for me to find a contract that I can write up myself and have my husband sign everything over to me or not. There are other things at play that we would need him to sign over including Adoption Assistance, which requires both of our signatures currently, and that need to be added to the order that I can sign that on my own. Just so many things at play but I would like to see what I can get done on my own. Thanks for helping a momma in survival mode.

You may want to act quickly to get him a separation agreement that he would sign agreeing to the distribution of the marital assets.

Check out our sample separation agreement (North Carolina Separation Agreement - Actual Document) to use as a guide to draft your own. This also includes notes in the margins to assist you in drafting it.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

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