Stupid Question


#1

That’s not a stupid question. If you and your wife are not separated then there is no custody question. You have the right to take your son anywhere (within reason) providing that he is in no danger and is not illegal. Even after separation, until custody is agreed upon or decided by court, each parent has 100% custody.

I suggest this…document what has happened. Start keeping a journal. If you want to take your son to the park…then do it. Leave a note, a message or just tell her that you are taking him to the park. If she contacts the police, let them come. It is only kidnapping if 1)the child is not yours, 2) you do not have custody. There is nothing illegal about taking your child with you to the store, the park, the mall or where ever as long as it’s not a bar or someplace that’s illegal for minors anyway. Make sure to keep good records of everything.
If you do separate, and custody becomes an issue…this will not look good that she has kept you from nuturing a relationship with your child. It will also not look good that she has made a false accusation of kidnap or file a false police report. They do not look very kindly on this type of thing…Kidnapping is a federal offense so that would go considerably higher than the local PD. You could always take a photo of the note, record conversations…


#2

I have a really stupid (but real) question I hope someone here can answer.

My wife has never “allowed” me to take our preschooler anywhere other than outside to play (and that time is always closely monitored). It’s the belief of several professionals that she suffers from untreated trauma/paranoia because she was abused as a child. She has already wrongly accused several family members (hers and mine) of “abusing” the child.

The situation has put us on the brink of separation because she refuses to attend any sort of therapy or counseling.

Her influence on our child is profound. I have been trying to spend as much time with him as I can, and suggested that we go to the park so my wife could get some rest. She said if I took the child anywhere (he is my biological son) without her “permission,” she would call the police and report that I had kidnapped the child.

I am getting help with the trauma I have suffered as a result of being treated like a second-class father. I know it’s not right. But do I need to inform her – or get her OK (she never even bothers to tell me where she and son go, let alone when they will return) if I want to take him someplace?