Taking my child and Leaving state


#1

Child’s father and I currently live together.Never married, never been to court for custody. I am planning on taking our child and moving back home near the end of the month for many reasons. I have a free 2bedroom apartment there (my mom owns) I will have a better job there (working for my mom helping run family business) I will have unlimited family support (have no one here) I can begin to rebuild my relationship with my older 2 children and child can get to know their siblings.(My children visited me twice in NC and never came back, don’t blame them) Father is controlling and drinks beer every night until he passes out, usually between 8-12 a night. Father has a DWI from 4 years ago while child was in the car, and I was also in the car. (No idea he was drunk as he had just supposedly came home from working) Father still does not have his licence because he has not went to the required 10 classes to get his licence back. Father STILL drinks and drives around.(Not far only a half mile away, but far enough in my opinion) I left 2 years ago and had 2 50b’s taken out, first was dismissed second I ended up dropping because I fell for the " I will change" thing. Father has not had a REAL job in 4 years. Owes 5 grand in taxes so he works under the table. Neither of us have the money for a lawyer but I am scared he may borrow and file for emergency custody, although I heard this will cost about 3 grand, he might not be able to borrow that much. If he does manage to file for emergency custody, would I only have to return to the state with child or would I have to hand our child over to him? How likely is it he would gain custody? He says because I left my girls who are 14 and 12 in their fathers custody I am a bad mother and I will never get custody of our child. I have paid non court ordered support for my girls for the last 11 yrs, and I was young and made a huge mistake, but I left them in a stable environment with their father. Boyfriend has thrown this in my face for the past 7 years to make me feel bad, although he signed his rights away to his first child. Everyone is saying for me to just leave, but I am scared I am going to lose my child who is my world. I am the main caretaker of child, get him ready for school, do homework, read to him, bedtime, dinner etc…while father drinks beers and watches tv.


#2

My recommendation would be to not leave the state with the child. He can file for emergency custody wherein you would not only have to return to the state with the child, but he would be given temporary custody of her, if he wins. Your best bet is to file for custody right now, or see if he will agree to a consent order with you. If you don’t think he’ll go for the consent order, you should file for custody. You likely can make a good case for why you are the better parent. Neither or you has to have an attorney for custody (or emergency custody–he can do that himself if he wants), but of course it will be an easier process for you if you can arrange for one.


#3

So if he filed emergency and got temp custody we would have a hearing in 10 days? Would he likely keep custody because he was granted temp? Can I find the papers I need to file for emergency online somewhere? Would I be able to leave state if I filed emergency myself? We still live together, would he know I filed? He would never agree to a consent order, as he honestly believes he is the better parent. Thank You


#4

Your better option then is to file for custody (not emergency). Emergency custody is only available if one parent has a reason to be fearful that their child is going to be taken out of state by the other parent for purposes of evading the jurisdiction of NC, or in fact if the child has already been taken. This is how your ex could be given emergency custody if you flee the state with your child. You can also file for EC if the children are in imminent danger of harm while with the other parent. You would have to convince a judge in an ex parte hearing that the child is in such actual danger or that out-of-state relocation is imminent/has occured. If you are given ex parte emergency custody, a return hearing would be set with notice given to the other side to appear in court within 10 days where they can explain their side.