Terminating parential rights and child support

The facts: my divorce has been final now for over a year. I have joint custody with the ex having primary physical custody. I get alternating weekends and one month in the summer, with alternating holidays.

When we separated, I was in favor of the kids staying where they had always known, to minimize an already tramatic experience for them. Due to looking for a job, I now live 3 hours away, and drive 6 hours round trip to pick them up for visitation. My ex has constantly made threats along the lines of “I’m tired of being a single parent, you take the kids” but every time I say “ok” she backs off and says “you would have to prove I am unfit to take the kids from me”. So now, once again, she has said she wants to not have the responsibility. I’m all for having them, I’d love them to live with me, but I don’t want to uproot them and disrupt their lives yet again, when she changes her mind in 3 months and waves the custody agreement in my face stating she gets them. So my question is:

What do I need to do to legally change the custody to me so she can’t change her mind and uproot them once again? Can it be as simple as a notarized letter stating her wishes? or do I need to file in court, or what? I live in Wake Co, and she lives in Lincoln Co with the kids.

In NC, it is legal to voice record conversations, as long as one party (you) is aware that it is being recorded. If you record her saying that (repeatedly), it could help your case. Of course, she could always counter that she was just exasperated and didn’t mean it. I would file for modification of custody and see what happens. If you have anything in writing, it would also help your case.

not an attorney