Trying to move on, somehow


#1

Dear redflags:

Greetings. First, you should be commended on leaving before any violence occured. That was incredibly smart.

  1. First, have you filed a motion for interim distribution? Her changes for staying in the home are high if she can refinance.

  2. Yes, it is likely that you may have to pay alimony to assist her in staying in the home with the minor child, etc.

  3. Yes, mortgage companies can base loans on court ordered spousal support, but usually not post separation support, since it is temporary in nature.

Let me know about the motion for interim distribution. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

I was not aware of interim distribution. What exactly does that seek to accomplish? I don’t think a mortgage company will give her a loan based on the size of the mortgage, her credit situation, and her income–including child support.

I know that I will have to pay alimony. For the PSS that I am now paying, the court did not find me at fault, but still awarded her the maximum amount possible based on her inflated and incredible needs that she submitted. Then, the judge cut my already modest needs to the minimum and declared I was able to pay her needs.

I’m seeking a way to avoid that from happening in the alimony trial, and I think the house is a big key. If I have to continuing paying like a similar amount like now, I’ll never have a life of my own again because of the unreasonable burden, while she can continue to waste money and have a good time at my expense. It’s like having a child to support(which I fully accept), and some fully capable adult who has a job, that is even more dependent on my income than my child is(which is very difficult to understand).

Once all of the appraisals are finished there will be an ED mediation. Could you tell me what I could expect at the mediation? If she is determined to not sell the house, will she not owe roughly 50% of the equity in the house to me?


#3

Dear redflags:

Greetings. Remember that for mediation to work, all the parties must have complete spreadsheets and a knowledge of what they want. Yes, if she wants to keep the house, the court will force her to give you hafl of the equity - although you may get that equity from a different marital asset, such as your retirement or other accounts. So, instead of splitting everything equally, maybe you keep more property and accounts and she keeps the house equity.

The fact that she is living there with the child(ren) is also an issue for the court. The court can force you to keep the mortgage for a while until she can sell, etc.

Finally, if you file the interim distribution - which is a motion asking the court to deal with one item of property prior to the final distribution - then you may have some more leverage going into the mediation. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

Greetings - I separated in 2003 and left because it was over and someone had to leave before something really bad happened. I didn’t want to leave, but somebody had to. Throughout the entire ordeal, the ex has refused to negotiate on anything so far, and I have no reason she will on the ED. Even though I really tried to make things as easy as possible for her when I left, despite the way I was feeling about her, I have paid dearly for it financially. Anyway, the ED mediation is coming up soon and I’m trying to get the house sold and the proceeds split, so she can buy another house and I can too. Obviously, she wants to stay there as long as possible, especially since she has been living there for free, and using her money for other things.

  1. What do you think her chances for staying in the house are? She makes about 1/3 of my salary and there is one child who is with her 2/3 of the time, with me 1/3 of the time. Length of marriage - 11 years.

  2. If she gets to stay in there, will I then pay an additional price in an alimony trial because she’s in a house she can’t afford, i.e. her needs are higher than if she buys a smaller home?

  3. Will a mortgage company grant her a loan based on PSS that I am paying, if it is decided she can remain in the home? What if she gets to stay in the house and she can’t get a loan because of credit issues or the house is too much for her income?

Right now, she is able to stay there because I continued to pay the mortage after I left so that a) my child would have somewhere to live, b) she could claim I abandoned the house so it should be given to her, and c) the house wouldn’t be forclosed–there is a significant amount of equity in the house. Now, I am paying because of the court order of PSS. This is a tremendous burden to finance two dwellings, hers and mine + child support.

Thanks for your input.