Visitation & Child Support


#1

There is a Child Support calculator on the home page of this website that can be used to figure how much child support would be paid. It is based on the number of overnights the child or children are with each parent though so the amount would be higher right now that it would if the visitations are enforced.
Read some of hawkman’s posts about being kept from his children and what he has done…
Child support paid through DSS can be re-evaluated every three years or with a substancial change in circumstances. If his ex is keeping him from having his visitations…maybe she is trying to get child support increased since the # of overnights with her is increased…? But since you have proof of his attempts at visitations and her refusing to comply with those attempts then that scenario probably isn’t something to worry about. If they have court ordered custody and she is keeping him from visitations, she would be in contempt of that order. If they have no custody arrangement or agreement then he is entitled to equal time to the children.


#2

The child support calculator is difficult to use since we do not know her current salary. She has received several promotions since they separated so he can’t even make an educated guess. They have an agreement (not through the courts) that gives him visitation every other weekend. But she doesn’t call or return calls if she doesn’t feel like meeting him. I dont’ think she is trying to manipulate the child support system (she probably doesn’t know it exists), she just simply doesn’t feel she HAS to allow him to see the kids. I’ll never understand why she isn’t just thankful that he cares about his kids and wants to spend time with them. So many men just disappear from their kids lives.


#3

I would say to use the calculator and use the salary you had previously. The promotions or raises on her part would only serve to lower the amount he pays. This is worth going back to court over and making this an order. If they have an agreement that he is to have the children then I would suggest that he send her notice in writing that he is going to start picking up the children a specific date and time and every other weekend after. When that day comes, he should go to her home, do not park in the driveway or on her property at all and may be a good idea to take along a police officer. Take a copy of the letter and their agreement and if she refuses to let the children leave with him the officer is there to help enforce. If she is not home, then he has more proof that his attempts for visiting his children is not being met.
Legally, unless she has primary legal and physical custody she can NOT keep him from seeing his children. Even with primary there are rights for visitations.
A lot of ex’s don’t see the big picture. They believe that they are the better parent and that the children should not be forced to be around their mother or father’s new partner. What they simply refuse to believe is that children need BOTH parents and that they are hurting the children by doing this. They feel that since the child/children reside with them, the other parent has no say in their lives and that is NOT true. Having primary physical custody only means that they have the responsibility for daily care and maintenance of that child’s wellbeing, but they are not solely responsible for that child.
I believe that this situation is worth the effort. It may be resolved by simply writing the letter and showing up, letting her know that he WILL have his visits as they agreed on and don’t give up. If that does not solve the problem, then take it on to the next level. I hope that the phone records you have are actual recordings…? Radio Shack carries a nifty device that records both sides of the conversation and can’t tell it’s being recorded…


#4

We dont’ have actual recordings unfortunately, only phone bills showing dates & lenghts of calls. Is recording without a person’s knowledge legal in NC? That might be an option.

Thanks for the help.


#5

I can relate to your situation alot. I was told by a district attorney that in north carolina you can record a telephone conversation without the person knowing as long as you are on the recording talking to the person. My husband and I have gone to court alot over some of the sam issues and visitation and child support are to different cases. The more over night visits your husband has with the child the lower the support. There are three worksheets and depending on how many nights out of the year his child is with him determines the work sheet the judge uses. Also, the judge will factor in medical conditions of the child if there are any. My husband just got busted with child support. The judge ordered him to pay 691.00 per month. That took 75% of his income and we are behind on everything. The mom can only get an increase every three years only if there is a substantial change in circumstances or medical needs. Contact a lawyer and talk to them. Best of luck!


#6

Dear AMJ,

It is very likely if you go to court to address the issue of custody that child support will also be addressed. Child support in North Carolina is calculated according to the Child support guidelines, there is a child support calculator available on our website, that will tell you what his child support obligation will be.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#7

why is it so hard for men to get anything done due to these issues? The court system is not suppose to be bias, but I feel and think it is alot more than admitted. Fathers have just as much rights as the mom!


#8

Dear concernedwife,

I am not sure what you mean by your question.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#9

Yes, in NC you can record telephone conversations as long as one party on the recording knows it’s being recorded. These can be used in court also. The recorder we bought was hidded on an unused phone line so the children would not know it was there. It worked so well that most of the time we forgot we were being recorded. The phone records are a good idea, but actual recordings of her refusing to let him speak or see the children would be better. You can even get one for cell phones, though it’s harder to hide that one and I don’t know how well it works. If you have 10 or so attempts recorded over a period of a month, then with the phone records and incidents prior to the recordings would show a pattern. When you have the phone recordings, write on the tape the date and time it was made.
Get the recorder and write the letter. Give her the date and time you or he will be there to pick up the children and then show up. Give her enough advanced warning so that she can’t say she didn’t get the letter, or have the letter certified so she has to sign for it. Show up and see what happens. The next time take a police officer and see what happens. It may all be taken care of once she realizes that he’s not going to stand for this game any longer. Do not let her know that any further action will be taken so that she has no way to cover what’s been done or said and no time to make excuses.


#10

AMJ-

If the ex has had an increase in salary since the last calculation, then she may not want to reevaluate support because it might cause support to actually decrease. If your husband’s salary has stayed the same, and hers has increased, I don’t think you have anythign to worry about. But I don’t have all the details. A judge will defintely look bad upon the EX if she has not made efforts to help the children see the father…shame on the ex!!


#11

What can my husbad do? His child support is 691.00 per month and we are about to lose everything we own. I got a notice in the mail last night that by 1-22 my lights will be turned off. We are behind on our house payment, behind on property taxes and vechile taxes. I NEED HELP OUT OF THIS NIGHT MARE! We have talked to the ex and she want agree to have it lowered, we cant force her to terminate his rights because she wants the money. We dont know what we can do, can anyone help?[:(]


#12

AMJ-
Did you not understand my post? If her income has increased, the support might lower once it is recalculated. That DOES happen sometimes. Has your hubby had an increase in salary since the last calculation? Was the visitation agreement in any way legal? If she is not withholding her part of the bargain, then she may be in contempt of the agreement. Since your hubby pays support, he is ENTITLED to visitation (assuming he does not impose a threat to the kids) and she is not ALLOWED to yank it around with him. Seeing a judge may actually do you a favor. You can NOT terminate rights voluntarily…the mother and father both have to agree to this. Sounds like she will not agree to this because she is receiving good support. This prevents deadbeat dads from getting out of not paying support (not saying your hubby is one…I’m on your side!) There is really not much you can do, what made the amount so high to begin with? Was child care a factor? If any of the kids are not in child care any longer, that will be deducted from the calculation and could help lower it as well. Rebudget is really the only advice out there, sadly the courts don’t care about you and your hubby paying bills on time, they only care about the CS getting paid on time. Sometimes I think the courts don’t always look at the ‘bigger picture’ of things.


#13

I think there are two different situations going on in this post. AMJ is concerned that if her husband takes his ex back to court to enforce visitations his child support will be increased. In my posts on this matter I’ve suggested ways to try to have visitations enforced without going to court. Child support and child custody are two separate issues to the courts so they can not review support simply because one parent is not keeping to the agreement. This is why I said it may be beneficial to take this on to court and get custody and visitations made into a court order instead of the verbal agreement that is not being upheld. The only issue with this is if the support is also a verbal agreement then chances are she could file for it through the state and then it would be reviewed. As I said, use your last known salary on the support calculator and compair what you are paying now, if it’s the same or more than what you should be paying it would be in your best interest for this to go to court. If it is a verbal agreement on the support amount also, he may have some leverage.

concerned wife’s posts are concerning terminating her husband’s parental rights to a child from a previous marriage. He can not just choose to terminate the rights. I was curious as to why the child support more than doubled, if his salary has not increased considerably or there has not been a significant change in needs of the child? I would suggest that he begin there and then try to get his visitations increased and enforced also since terminating his rights doesn’t seem to be an option.


#14

When the EX took it back it was for cost of living increase, tutoring, and medical reasons. My husbands income really hasn’t changed. The judge calculated 75% of his income (17,000.00 yearly) for child support. Now we have been told that as of Jan. 01, 2007 all child support issues have to go through the cs office and not the courts, well we tried to go through the cs office and they told us that until the EX turns it over to them there is nothing they can do. Pretty much we are screwed! AMJ- SORRY FOR SCREWING UP YOUR POST!


#15

oops…yes, I did get confused on the posts…i didn’t notice AMJ and ‘confused wife’ as being separate persons…sorry!!


#16

My husband’s ex continues to keep him from seeing his children. We have a journal and phone records to “prove” his attempts to see the children and contact her.

My question is this…if we take her to court to “force” visitation, what are the chances of the child support being reviewed/changed? I’ve read the many posts on here about judges giving fathers incredibly high support amounts. We can’t afford anything like that…but we want to spend time with the children.

Thanks.