What Are My Legal Requirements

Once you are separated the money you each earn is no longer a marital asset. It is the separate property of the party who earned it.

If your Wife has moved out of the marital residence and is living somewhere else then you can legally exclude her from returning. If she attempts to come back you can have her prosecuted for Domestic Criminal Trespass.

As far as alimony, if she was involved with a sexual relationship with another man while you were married, you are not legally obligated to pay any alimony. The only thing you would be obligated to pay would be child support. If the children are staying with you in the marital residence for the majority of the time, then the child support will change according to the time spent with each parent. You can find the guidelines on our website.

Your verbal agreement to support her is not binding, the only thing that is legally binding is a contract or a court order.

I will caution you though that since you are in the military, you should check with your JAG office or your commanding officer and make sure that you are in compliance with the military laws regarding support.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My wife announced that she wanted a divorce in January, while I was deployed to Iraq. We’d agreed to work things out, but once I returned she told me she’d had a boyfriend and did not want to try to work things out anymore. I had originally agreed to move out, but reconsidered and am now living in the primary marital residence (a rental) with my two children. I am paying for her to live in a hotel and have been giving her money to eat.

She intends to move back into the residence and have me move out, while I continue to pay for rent, bills, etc (she did not actively seek employment until two weeks ago, and still has no job). We have no separation agreement, other than verbal in which I said I’d continue to support her until she was able to support herself. Am I legally required to give her “half” of the money I earn, as its a marital asset, am I legally obligated to continue spousal support and can I prevent her from moving back into the house?

  • Dave