Who gets what?

Dear Lauren:

Greetings. Sorry it took so long, but your question was very long - and daunting as you can imagine. Anyway, my answer to your questions (which I believe I answered in a shorter version before) are:

  1. The loan from your mother to pay off your husband’s pre-date of marriage debt is a marital debt that should be split during the marriage. It is my opinion and belief that the court may split it unevenly, with Husband paying more, because it was his pre-marital debt after call.

  2. The car which was purchased with your separate “trust account” funds should remain separate. The fact that you jointly titled the car may lead some to think that it was a gift to the marriage, but I would argue that was not your intent.

  3. Your husband can take anything that is not nailed down to the floor. Okay, realistically, he can take anything and so can you. It does not appear that he wants to take your son thought. If you have joint accounts, take the funds and close them. If you have property which you do not want your husband to have, take that property to your mother’s house. Dogs are property, like a table or chairs, and he can take them, so you may want to move them to.

Unfortunately, it does not sound as if your husband is a reliable person. I also suggest that after you move to your mother’s house that you file for child support. Maybe that will motivate your husband to obtain and KEEP a job.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband and I are having a bit of a problem right now and if things dont work I would like to be prepared. We got married at the age of 16 for myself and 19 for my husband. At the time he had a good job but was swimming in debt. We asked my mother to co-sign on a loan for me to get the debt taken care of, but instead, my mother with no business sense takes out a second mortgage. So she pays off his $25,000 in debt. He later quit that job to take another that payed much more, but got fired about a week into it. Thats when the economy really took a dive for the IT industry. I have a trust that my father left to me and my sister which once I was emancipated took care of my rent, education, health, and anything else that is nessecary for me to live. So while I was recieving a check each month and getting my rent payed by my trust we didnt bother to look for him another job and just spent the next 2 or 3 months with each other. When we realized that wouldnt work we started to look, but nothing was there. My husband’s father is in the union in Detroit and told us that there was a job for him up there, so we went on a road trip to get there for an interview that (little did we know) did not exist. So with no money to get back home we stayed in a hotel there with his father footing the bill while I was on the internet looking for a job for my husband and my husband was walking in places and going to job fairs to look for work. When we had been in motel 6 for about a month I told him that this was ridiculous and that we either need to go back home in NC or close it up and make a commitment to MI. So we made the move to Detroit. About 4 months after being there my endless internet searching payed off and he landed a great job with NCR (national cash register). The car that he had that my mom bailed out of repo twice at this point was now being searched for but I didnt ask her for help again. The only car that we had that was paid for and could afford insurance on was a 91 Lebaron which my father left to me when he passed. Of course being this old it definitly has alot of problems, but it worked. Then in the dead of winter the heater goes out and my husband catches cold. FYI-The job that my husband took with NCR was supposed to give him a car but they werent sure of when. So my husband gives up and says its not worth getting sick over and quits. One week later we get a letter in the mail saying that his brand new Aztek was ready to be picked up at the dealership, the car from NCR. Which he didnt work for anymore. SO the endless searching was on again. There was nothing. And inbetween the time that he quit his job with NCR and us moving back home, my trust bought me a 02’ Grand Caravan, which stupidly I put his name on too! SO at the end of that lease, we moved back home to NC. He landed another job curtesy of my searching, which ended a month later. At this point I am pregnant with our first child and he has no job. I knew that if I didnt do something we were screwed so I got a job at biglots and he worked at dominoes(with a little begging)! Somehow the bills got paid. He landed another job with time warner, which ended in march 2003, when my son was 1 month old. Since then we have moved to another, much cheaper in rent, house(which the trust still pays for). He just recently got a good job, but with the economy they dont have enough work. And on next monday lay offs will occur. So he came home yesterday and says that I should move in with my mother while he moves in with his brother, because we cant afford to pay the bills here and he cant stand my mother, who has done everything finacially for us. I dont understand why he would want to go home to his brothers family, who does nothing but disrespect all of us, instead of his wife and child. He says that he doesnt want to be a burden, but he would be no more of one than he was before, you know, when things werent so hard. Now if he leaves and forces me to pack my things and take our son, dogs, and myself to live with my mother and doesnt come with me, we are through. And when I told him that he said he doesnt care. I would just like to know from a legal professional if he can take anything, like my son, my car, my dogs, and any money? please help. lost & alone–NC