I don’t beleive that is abandonment. You are still taking care of the kids. You have to work to provide for them. Same case if you left them in a chidcare center, but better and with family. Maybe start paying your mother for babysitting? Write her a check so she can buy the needed supplies for the kids while you are gone?

Document, document, document. I can not stress this enough. Write down schedules of all of you. Write down what medications your wife is on, write down when she began taking them and what they are for. Write down any instance that you see as having a detrimental affect on the children.
Consult an attorney…If you are not currently separated and just begin staying somewhere else without informing her or taking consideration for finacial aspects for your home and marriage, then she could say you have abandoned her. Have a separation agreement written up, spelling out custody as you want it with you having primary physical custody. Regardless of whether or not she signs it. If your mother is currently your children’s caregiver then that does not have to change just because you separate. If you have primary physical custody then it is you are allowed to let a family member watch them while you are working.
Yes, writing your mother a check for groceries and other supplies for the care of your children is a good idea. Keep a ledger or journal of any money transactions.
The best suggestions is to consult an attorney and find out what you can do at this point…

Abandonment means that you left the marriage without provocation. It generally has an impact on the financial issues in the marriage, such as alimony. If you are the primary wage earner and you leave the residence and prove no support to your spouse, then it could be considered abandonment.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

My mom keeps our children the majority of the time. Picks them up from school. They spend most of their nights there. I travel out of town. My question is if I go to my mother’s to be where the kids are at night is that considered abandonment from the house? Can she say that I am abandoning her by going to be with the kids? I give my mom money for groceries and such. She basically takes care of the now, when I am away. If my wife decides that she wants the kids with her because I start to stay with my mother, will I still be able to prove that my kids are cared for by my mother? I’m trying to gain full custody of my children because my wife is unstable. She is on several medications for mental conditions. I want my children to be safe most of all. How do I keep the children with my mom? What do I need to do to prove my wife is unfit?