Adultery/mal turning out of doors/abandonment


If you have already received absolute divorce then equitable distribution is not viable. Unless there was something stated that ED would be decided at a later date…neither of you can go back and get anything that was marital.
Check your papers. A settlement, even if you can’t afford an attorney, would be that you are entitled to 1/2 the marital assets at the time of separation. Which includes bank accounts, retirement accounts, savings, furniture, vehicles, homes. This would also mean that you would need to go back to the date of separation, and see if you are also entitled to alimony. If he makes more than you, you can request alimony as long as you did not sign away your right. If your divorce does not say anything about ED being decided later, then you don’t owe him anything and he can’t get it, nor can you get anything from him. You are divorced. What you took with you or have acquired since separating is yours and the same is true for him. If the home was his prior you may still have a vested interest but the attorney would need to answer that.

A lawsuit against her for Alienation of Affection would be time consuming and expensive. You would have to hire an attorney, prove that you had a viable marriage and that her actions intentionally alienated his affection from you. It’s difficult to prove and often just not worth it. I understand your frustration over this but keep in mind that everything comes back around. More than likely he will not be faithful to her either…IMHO, you can’t take someone away from someone else and expect them to be faithful to you.


If your divorce has been granted then there is no longer a claim for equitable distribution. This means that whatever is in your name is yours and whatever is in his name is his, if there is property that is jointly titled then you will need to go to civil court and deal with that issue, but it will not be based on marital property laws.

Unfortunately, neither is entitled to anything that is in the name of the other party.

You can sue this third party for alienation of affection and criminal conversation, if her actions were the reason that you and your spouse ended what was otherwise a happy marriage.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


A year ago, my husband “kicked me to the curb” and moved in his girlfriend and her kids - a woman he had been having an affair with for many months (unbeknownst to me, of course). About two months before being tossed out, I got a copy of his cell phone record, where I found many calls to her and to a previous woman. I’m talking hours and hours on the phone! He became hostile and threatening, then he didn’t care and started staying out all night and most of the time. He informed me that I was to get out of HIS house and find a place to live. I was devastated…
I had to rent a place, move my animals, and with the expenses of trying ot make it out there alone, I went belly-up financially and lost everything, my rental house, my car, my business van, had to sell of my furniture, and now I live in an RV of my sister’s behind her house. She had to feed me and my animals for a year and still does. He filed for a divorce and because I could not afford an attorney, he got it. Now he wants everything in a settlement. I am trying to act pro se on my own but it is hard…he owned his land and mobile home before we married yet I have put $$ into it. He bought equipment, etc. during our marriage. He even wants to take my beloved horse from me. Can I get my share? Can I file a separate lawsuit against “her” for alienation of affections and criminal conversation? We were married three years. Am I entitled to a percentage of his retirement during those years - he plucked it all out before I left and spent it all on himself. He tossed me out, sick with pneumonia and a tooth absess - my family had to pay my medical bills. What can I do to even get a little compensation for the humiliation, financial devastation and loss of everything he has caused me? JT